Let's remember these words of wisdom before we cast too harsh a critique of this season's finale. Yes there was a lot going on. Alan B led us down many a path this season so he had to make sure he wrapped up as many story lines as he could to open slots for new ones in the next season.
So Godric is back looking like he just got home from Diddy's White Party appearing like Obi Wan Ben Kenobi did to Luke in the Dagaba System. He lets Eric and us know that apparently the sign in the opening credits which reads "God Hates Fangs," is wrong. He contends that peace awaits everyone in the afterlife including vampires like Russell so long as we can forgive those who have trespassed against us. This does not jive for our Viking prince.
Sookie is dreaming about fairy land before Bill brings her back after a healthy dose of V no doubt. Apparently V's healing powers do not extend to acne though. Time for Proactive Sook.
She saves Eric and at Eric's behest she also drags in Russell. As she is leaving the bar to go get him, Eric and Bill get their hair up at one another and show fangs like two alley cats fighting over an empty can of tuna. Sookie took the words out of my mouth when she sighed "Oh for the love of god."
True Blood looked like they were filming an episode of CSI with all the rubber gloves being passes around. It was good attention to detail though when Pam puts on them on to remove the silver hand cuffs from Eric's wrist. We also saw Bill sneakily put a pair into his pocket which we later uses while pushing Eric into the hole at the construction site.
Side note I loved the TV interview in the background featuring Steve from the Light of Day and Nan. "Was it the right wing that ripped a guys spine out on TV?!?!"
Love how he keeps popping up. Sure to see more of him and Nan next season as politics apparently come into play more.
Pam does not approve of Eric letting Russell live and instead implores him to "rip off his fuking head!" That's my girl. Russell meanwhile is a mess. He loses his fang. "That's embarrassing." The last thing Eric wants is for Russell to find peace after meeting the true death. He leaves Sookie to watch over him while he goes to ground to ponder his next move.
Russell offers up the world to Sookie for his freedom. He promises to pay her 5 million dollars, to kill Bill and Eric if she chooses and also agrees to give her his house. I think Sookie just wanted to see how desperate he was. Any thought we may have had, that she actually may let him go for the right price gets washed down the drain moments later when she notices the jar of Talbot juice on the bar. She realizes that Russell believes Sookie's blood may be able to bring his beloved back. Not exactly psyched on the idea of being human jumper cables to the undead, Sookie dumps Talbot down the drain while Toasted Almond screams his crispy head off. Sookie looks downright evil here as she laughs in the face of Russell's agony.
Hoyts mom stages an intervention at the work site with the guidance counselor who hides a bottle of Malibu Rum in his desk. Sort of a waste of air time but I guess they thought they needed to set up the scene where Hoyt's mom is shopping for a rifle. Several things to note in that scene by the way. The cardboard cut out of my man in the foreground is classic. Then there's the little girl coloring amidst all the firepower and camouflage. Lastly how Mrs. F can just pick up any rifle of her choosing and pull the trigger like she is testing out a perfume at Saks is madness. Guess that's the South for ya.
Meanwhile Hoyt wants to Marry Jessica. He didn't bother to ask me for my blessing, but he has it anyway. Hoyt shows her the house he got for them. First order of business is to build a "totally tricked out hidie hole" for Jessica he says. Amidst all the young love and bliss though I was left with a knot in my stomach. Something bad is on the horizon for our star crossed lovers. Jessica notes that the house smells weird when she first walks in. Then we see that weird doll, which looks like it was partially burnt, sitting on the floor. Remember Hoyt complained to Jessica once that among her many annoying features, Summer had a weird love of dolls.
Sam finds his safe gone and chases down Tommy. How he finds him that fast is beyond me. I guess he tracked him? Anyway, Tommy breaks down like some after school special and admits he can't read. Well now he can't breathe because Sam guns him down in cold blood like whoa. Again I find myself drawing parallels to "New Jack City." Sam is as much his brother's keeper as Nino Brown was to Gee Money. Keisha...dead. The Duh Duh Man...dead. And now Tommy...dead.
Sam makes some mean a mean breakfast though. It's all about the bacon grease Tara.
Tara with a belly full of bacon grease goes over to her mom's to find out she is getting some hog of her own. Tara walks in on her mom helping Reverend Daniels with his "sermon."
Reminded me of when Goldie Hawn walks in on Wesley Snipes and that girl hooking up on her couch in "Wildcats." "We was uh...sleepin!"
Tara wishes her mom luck and walks out for the last time we have to think. Tara has a lot of toys in her attic as we know and see in her flash backs. After feeling at first like she was going to off herself, I now feel like she might just drive away on us for awhile. Like when Sayid decided to go live on the other side of the island on "LOST." In preparation for her departure she goes home and goes all Whoopi on us. She looked like the dude from the Bud Light Commercial who wears his dog on his head so he can get a bud light. "Hey hey hey...everybody jammin!"
Andy still rocking the cast contemplates taking some V.
What on Earth is he waiting for. And while he's at it can he rub some on Crystal's eye. I am so tired of looking at that shiner.
She's a stunner though compared to the rest of the family up at Hotshot. As Jason notes they got a bunch of people who are in need of a bath, kids who probably aren't in school and "several people who obviously got dental problems."
Sean white brings up the V to "Uncle Daddy," before Felton does him in. Rough road for the people of Hot Shot. First Katrina forces them out of New Orleans, now the DEA is all up in their grille.
Jason goes all Last of the Mohicans telling Crystal, " I will find you...you just stay safe." Uncle!
Laffa goes all Ghetto Boys and calls Jesus in a panic crying "my mind is playing tricks on me." "Hurry up please!"
Jesus we learn in addition to being a nurse who is a dude, is also a witch...and of course a "hooka." He tells Laffa that he needs to teach him about his magic.
Alcide has been helping out Eric in order to settle his dads debts we learn. He also has been dreaming about Sookie. He wants some of that vampire crack. He might want to hold off though because Bill plans to kill everyone who has tasted her blood including the Queen.
Bill double crosses Eric after they send Russell off for a 100 year "nap" in a bed of wet cement. Bill calls Ruben posing as Eric and tells him to kill Pam.
Pam takes him out though and rescues Eric from becoming foundation. She tells Eric what went down after she emerges from just getting out of the shower. Could have used a shot of that to make this episode a touch better. Very little sex appeal to close out the season after so much bare skin leading up to the finale.
Eric appears, still picking the cement out of his hair, to tell Sookie how Bill was originally sent by the Queen to see if she was in fact a fairy. He even allowed for her to get beaten nearly to death so that he could feed her his blood. And oh yeah...he wants his phone back Bill.
I would have thought Bill would have embraced his new found bachelor status and taken a run at the queen. He does but not in the way I was thinking. They square off as Bill has nothing left to lose. He has no one to turn to. It's like he is the new Franklin. Lone vampire for hire.
Everybody plays the fool...but Sookie has gotten taken more times than most. She has had it with vampires and we close out the season with her amongst her own kind who look like the aliens from Cocoon.
Could we see the reemergence of Steve Guttenberg as a guest "star" next season?
So there you have it. Another season gone, but a lot of doors left open. Good riddance Tommy. Bye Bye to Tara's crazy mom, Talbot and Russell. Will Jason reunite with Crystal? Will he get that one dude from Hot Shot's teeth capped? Will he stop Kitch from breaking his record? What becomes of Bill? Does Eric take Fangtasia national and open up some chains? We will have to see, but Alan Ball did come on after the credits to thank all us fans for a great season and tells us to expect some witches and some new supernatural creatures in the upcoming year.
It's been a great ride with you all this season and I look forward as always to your thoughts as they never fail to amaze. They make all the time I spend on these recaps worth it.
