Sorry Sook We're a Bit Busy Right Now

It Don't Matter Just Don't Bite It

YES!!! Pam is so back! What a great scene for her to finish out the season. After being dismissed so rudely by her maker who has been ignoring her all season long Pamcakes really needed a good cry and a hug and as always Ginger was there like the loving lap dog she is. Pam still loves her maker there's no doubt about that. She just really wants to vampire who she watched seduce princesses and super models before spitting out their bones when he was finished. I don't blame her and I hope the two of them reunite in a big way next season.
After a very mediocre penultimate episode of Season 4 I was desperate for a blockbuster finale. I feared that a lack of closure on some of the more lackluster story lines coupled with a potential absence of season ending cliff hangers or revelations would seriously damage the show's credibility with fans and possibly jeopardize the opportunity for subsequent seasons. My fears were allayed and then some, after Alan Ball knocked it out of the park with season's closing chapter. "When I Die," breathed life back into my love of the show and I hope it did the same for you all.

True Blood will continue on, but without Jesus and Tara. The world of vampires and supernaturals is a bloody one, but until last night, the body count had been for the most part faceless. Aside from the Mickens family we hadn't seen any major losses among the cast. Jesus and Tara's deaths, more so than a random witch or "gay stormtroopers" filled a void and brought much needed credibility to the insane world these characters are supposed to exist in. That being said, it doesn't mean we have to necessarily mourn their loss and not have any fun with it. Case in point...
Even from beyond the grave, Tommy managed to fuck over his brother one last time as we saw Mrs. Fortenberry show up at the cemetery offering up her famous Pork Rind casseroles and telling Sam to call her Momma.
I did like Sam's line about how nobody ever taught Tommy how to love somebody without hurting them. Love him or hate him Tommy was a tragic character and never stood a chance. It probably was a good time for him to check out anyhow. Poor guy still was reading and writing at an Alvin Mack level with no hope for a dogfighting scholarship to ESU.
Tommy was too far gone for Sam to help, but maybe he can help Luna's daughter Emma. First lesson should be that you don't go around telling people that your mom is a shapeshifet and your dead daddy was a werewolf.
While it remains to be seen what Emma will end up being, I think it was pretty clear that Arlene has her hands full with he own daughter. At first i thought her Halloween costume was supposed to be Arlene actually, but then I said to myself "oh no way is she one of MTV's Teen Mom's and sure enough, Jenelle Evans.

AMAZINGLY TERRIFYING!
Strong finish to the season for Arlene. From her recent interactions with Andy to threatening her kids telling them if they didn't shape up they would be trick or treating in the trailer park again this year.
I'm guessing kids in Bon Temps trick or treat during the daylight hours due to all the supernaturals running around at night. That must suck. The finale reminded me that Halloween is right around the corner and that I need to start thinking about costumes. Thanks to Arlene, the Joan Rovers of Jack-o-lanterns who let us know:
It was good to see old Rene and I was happy he wasn't there to torment Arlene but rather try to protect her from some apparent evil surrounding Terry. He told her he is gonna bring her trouble of the worst kind having met the ghosts from Terry's past who he said won't rest forever. My guess is Terry was into some real dark stuff in the military and the people he killed are coming back to haunt the soldiers who wronged them. Might be why this Sergeant Patrick guy showed up out of the blue. Terry has never mentioned him to Arlene most likely because he wanted to forget all the horrible memories associated with that guy.
Rene was woken from the dead I think thanks to that "friends, spirits and ancestors" spell Sookie, Tara and Holly did conjured up a remake of the Thriller video. I thought the way Marnie went out was well done.
I'll admit she was pretty G'd up as she threatened to do harm to Lafa's body if he didn't stop resisting her spirit. And then again when she made like Billy from Predator while trying to coax Jesus into giving up his power.

At the end of the day she was like a Hogwarts School drop out, a feeble and weak witch who got a little power drunk while standing on the shoulders of real magic. She was put back in her place though by the end as we thankfully said goodbye to that demon face.
I was a little skeptical though as to how she was able to get two bad ass mofo vampires like Bill and Eric stripped of their shirts and tied up on top of that sacrificial pyre. Either way it provided for some comedic moments between Eric and Bill and also set the stage for Gran's return which was pretty awesome. She handled Marnie like a boss.



And I'm glad I was right and Mutedric was wrong because it meant our boy Lafayette is still alive. He's got too much magic in him, both hokus pokus and poke-a-hooka kind, to be killed off. My man is potent! A little clumsy perhaps, but POTENT.
Speaking of potent, we know how intoxicating Sookie's blood is so it was no surprise to see how grief stricken Bill and Eric were when Sookie told them the was leaving them both. I mean the whole Night at the Roxbury treatment was bound to get old eventually, were they really that shocked?

At least Eric took a shot and tried to convice her to change her mind allbeit it right in front of Bill. Luckily they were able to put their Sookie sorrow aside and deal with Nan. First off, how hilarious was the scene where Bill and Eric greeted her and her guards at the front door?
We expect Eric to do stuff like decapitate three dudes in a flash of fury, but I think even he was a little shocked to see Bill unleash the fury on Nan like that. I have no doubt they were going to kill Nan at some point but I think the puppy dog dig sent him over the edge and forced his hand prematurely which showed on the face of Eric who looked at his king as if to say whoah there partner.

I like the Bill and Eric combo. Would love to see some scenes next season of the two of them just holding court with a lair full of fang bangers. Maybe a trip to Brazil or to one of Eric's villas over seas. While one bromance was heating up another came to a violent conclusion as Jason decided to tell Hoyt about him and Jessica. Having pulled up and seen Hoyt with a chain saw in his hands I may have chosen to come clean another time, like over a beer at the bowling alley or a burger at Merlotte's. He should have taken a page out of Bob Sugar's book and done it somewhere with people around, not on some deserted back woods road. We are talking about Jason here though and he went ahead and came right out with it to Hoyt's surprise.

I too was hurt, but because I can't beleive we only got to see one of three postions. I like missionary! I like doggy! Dayum!
Understandably so, Hoyt layed the smack down on Jason, but man more so than his fists, Hoyt can really conjure up some hurtful words when he wants to. Think back to Jessica and the monster box and then to tell his best friend that he will never have true love with Jessica or anyone else for that matter.


Hoyt can have fun playing with his mom's dolls in the off season, my man Jason gets Jessica in a way Hoyt never could. When Jess told Jason she was going out to feed because the sex made her hungry he replied, "so you're gonna glamor some stranger and drink their blood." This response put her on the defensive, thinking Jason wasn't going to understand just like Hoyt, but then he showed her how different he is. Smiling he continued, "I get it, it's kind of like a hooker with kissing, not that you're a hooker." Jessica finally comfortable seeing how accepting her new man was offered to role play and pretend she was an escort at some point if Jason wanted and when she asked if they could try oral the next time I about snapped my popsicle stick too.

I loved every single second of these two together. From the way he bit his ice pop when Jessica told him to let her in, to the way he smelled her hair as they embraced on the couch.






The twisting was icing on an Awesome Cake. When Jess got the NRF's (No Reason Fangs) Jason didn't recoil at all, but instead stroked them tenderly. KID WAS ON FIYAH!!! I mean he admittedly has been with a lot of women but none like her and it showed in how he acted around her.


Another romance seemed ready to kick off next season as Alcide and Sookie both are on the rebound and each are ready to sample some other kind of supernatural. Lamest moment of the episode though was when Alcide's iPhone rang and he picked it up to learn that Russel was free. Forget the fact that he broke off flirting with Sookie to take a work call, the writers missed a great opportunity to give Alcide a cool and werewolf appropriate ringtone. Like Marcus's I bet was The Shangri La's "Leader Of The Pack." So I did some thinking and for the DVD release I think they should consider dubbing in one of these.

It won't be a big surprise when Sookie and Alcide finally hook up, but I like the subtle bit of foreshadowing if it was infact intentional. In earlier episodes Alcide wore a brown leather jacket while Bill typically wore black.
It was most notable when they both hovered over Sookie following the battle in the cemetery. I thought it was nice imagery, the vampire who lives in darkness wearing black and the werewolf who runs in the woods in brown. Then in the finale after she broke up with Bill and Eric she went to Merlotte's sporting...a brown leather jacket. Coincidence? Perhaps, but like Kung Fu legend Master Oogway once said, "there are no accidents."
Getting back to Russel, I wonder if Nan was responsible for freeing him. She had expressed her aversion to being "retired like a fat fucking first wife." She also mentioned the underground group of AVL and Authority members who were not happy with ther current state of things. It reminded me of the Death Eaters from the Harry Potter series, begrudgingly blending in with the rest of the wizard world, while anxiously waiting for the return of their leader Voldemort. Maybe Russel's return will liken itself to "He Who Shall Not Be Named's." Should make for a busy winter at the Eric and Bill camp.
Another bit of foreshadowing came to fruition as blood was spilled yet again in Sookie's kitchen as we said goodbye to Debbie and Tara. It goes back to what Eddie Murphy once said in Delirious about how white people won't leave a haunted or cursed house.




That house has been saying "GET OUT" for years now but Sookie can't seem to part with it and so blood continues to flow.
It's going to be a long 10 months until we get the next season, but hopefully we can transition from the bayou to the beach as we say goodbye for now to the blood and focus on the boardwalk.

For Whom Alan Ball Tolls

Question: Any True Blood scoop ahead of Sunday’s finale? —Scott
Ausiello: By the end of the hour, the show will be down at least one series regular.

My guess is Jesus if he can be considered a regular.

Blood Orange Moka Frappuccino's!!!

Gif credits: http://peachiex.tumblr.com/

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD?

Oh shit Marnie just puked a bitch out!

Hopefully that was all the puking that went on this week. I'll admit i was a little disappointed with some of the acting particularly by our lead vampires. Their little mod squad dressed in black seemed so forced and fake. I just couldn't buy into Bill acting all commando.

Eric looked comfortable enough with a gun in his hand thanks to A.S.'s role in Generation Kill (a must see if you haven't) but he was at his best "rippin' and a tearin'" hearts out of mofos chests.


Jason continued to shine as he stood up to Bill and Eric.

I'm not saying it was wise to do so, but good on him for having Sookie's back. How about the look he gave Pam when she called Sookie a "gash in a sundress?" That was great. I did not like seeing my man look like Arnold in T2 though! "Thank Goddess" for Jess and her healing blood.

Pam needs some hugs after Marnie told her not to laugh too much unless she wanted her lips to fall off and then Eric snapped and ordered her to "get out of my sight before I fucking kill you." INTENSE! (Loved how Pamcakes snagged the vintage necklace off the vampire B before she was dealt with)

Jesus warned Lafa that he was going to be using a very dark part of himself. Pretty sure Lafa has seen your darkest part homeboy, bring on the demon face.

From demon face to gas face, anyone else think Holly looked like the Crypt Keeper?

And how about the onlookers at the emporium. They seemed to resemble some of the main characters did they not? Reminded me of Space Balls where they capture the stunt doubles.
Yes!!! More werewolf stuff is emerging. It's about time because just like Jessica...

Loved seeing Sam and Marcus go at it and then Alcide finishing him off like Dalton in Road House.
Were's mate for life I guess just like wolves, so that whole abjure moment was really intense. I guess he isn't just a handsome smile and a set of killer abs, Alcide's got quite the vocab. Abjuration is the solemn repudiation, abandonment, or renunciation by or upon oath, so it was a very fitting word choice. I will have to remember that one for Words With Friends.
Lafa wants to stay by Jesus's side for life I'm pretty sure but the poor guy can't catch a break. Poor guy ends up swallowing Marnie after he just got through stomaching the sight of his BF cutting himself up and talking in tongues in his Buffalo Bill voice, "Imperimus, spiritus, WAS SHE A GREAT BIG FAT PERSON, in veritus, dominus obus, COULD YOU HELP ME LIFT THIS COUCH INTO MY VAN?"
Lafa must be like enough already...

How bout Andy getting some fairy fornication. Swear to the light, bow to the dark, whatever it takes. Another good episode for him, from talking to himself in the woods...

To his recounting the whole ordeal to Arlene back at the house. Andy was on point again this week.

Amazing eye control too by him not to sneak a peak at Arlene's realness while she talked to him at the dining room table.

I really am hoping for an amazing finale. I want to be knocked off my feet like I took a blast from Sookie.

There's been talk that Maryanne returns, but I think it was confusion over hearing Tara say "she's back" in the previews. I think she must be referring to Marnie. Lafa and Jesus look set to square off as Marnie drives our boy's body like Voltron.
I'm hoping for some more old school Eric and some werewolf action. Looking forward to hearing your comments. Next stop...

Thx to queenlabrifah.tumblr.com for some of the GIFS used this week.