Dirt McGirt

With so much drama in the BTP (Bon Temps Parish) I hardly know where to start, but based on my title I think you know what scene really hit me hard this week.

They say fools rush in, and even I was a bit skeptical at how fast Eric moved to turn Willa, but as he so eloquently put it, he is over a thousand years old and it's not like he does this a lot. Eric has only made two vampires in all his time, if that is any indication as to how dire he thinks the state of things have gotten. @leighcourt made a great point in her TVF review this week (TY again for covering for me), couldn't Eric have thrown some turbo hips at her just once? I guess he wanted to return her to her father as close to the way he took her, if you don't count that whole undead thing now. Still, it would have been nice. Either way the whole scene was quite amazing if you ask me and overall a great showing by Eric this week.
                   
                    

Not a surprise to see Willa freak out on her pops like that. It is a shame though as I think he was starting to see the light. I'm pretty sure, just before there was a knock at the door, Sarah Newlin was going to bring up the idea of she and the governor getting married. Politically they would make some duo, but the whole shooting her future step daughter may have put the kybosh on that idea. Still waiting for her to go knocking on Jason's door.

Jason may have been reluctant before this week to take her up on any sexual advance, but after his little manscaping nightmare, he will most likely be looking to confirm his heterosexuality, so Sarah may be in luck.

Vampire blood certainly seemed to get rid of Jason's headaches but is one of the side effects weird food cravings? He may have been dreaming like Freddy Mercury, but he was eating like a crazy pregnant woman. That said, if eating a diet of baking soda, yellow mustard and eggs will gives you a body like his, count me in. J Stack looked like Hannibal for King on that doorway.

***Note Jason checking out his bicep a la Patrick Bateman.

 

As for the shaving scene did you notice how upon waking up, Jason sat up and peeked panic stricken underneath the covers to see if another part of him was up as well?

Jason did well to rebound and reassert his manhood as he strapped the badge back on and laid down the law on that kwiki mart clerk.

 



As @Laffabrown commented last week, Sam is a sucker for a pretty woman of color and he added another beauty to his list of exotic partners this week.

I'm sure being able to shift into a horse didn't hurt his chances either. Which begs the question, can he just shift certain body parts and not others if he wants? Because that would be amazing. Sam's luck with women would make a lot more sense if it came to be known he was giving them the Catherine the Great experience. For you non history buffs.




Perhaps the biggest disappointment this season has been Alcide. I don't think we can blame the V anymore. He is just power drunk. Looks like next week he is going to try to blame his dad for pushing the V on him, but hey man, the choice was yours. Killing those kids was just wrong.

And my girl Rikki has also plummeted down my fan scale.

The other innocents attacked this week of course were Andy's kids.

Stealing a police car, buying Nattie Light and a carton of Kools is not what any father wants his daughters doing, but they didn't deserve what happened to them.

 
Still got mad love for Jessica though. She knew what she did was wrong and she tried to warn them to back up off her.

I hope Bill can save them with some of his blood, because I was really enjoying seeing Andy as the concerned parent.

 

Bill is trying to find a cure to the vampire populations problem, and you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet, but the four fae girls dying would be some sacrifice. Bill is not all bad though I think it's safe to say. The bigger question is whether or not Warlow or Benlow as @Leighcourt has named him, is really all bad either. He is that blend of light and dark. Sort of a vampire version of Anniken Skywalker, he is struggling with the darkness inside him. I think his early murders of Niall's parents were in part because he was a baby vampire and had that thirst. Jessica reminded us just how hard it is to resist that fairy blood that is like, as Jason put it, catnip to vampers. And Benlow could have killed Niall, but instead banished him to that other realm, in a sense showing him some mercy right?

 

*Did it strike anyone else as odd, that Niall didn't know who Lilith was, when he confronted Nora early on?

 

No interest whatsoever in the Terry Bellefleur/Patrick murder storyline. This needs to just go away. People get away with killing folks on this show all the time, why should he be different.

 

So safe to say we are going to say goodbye to a major character if not two by the end of the season. I think the conversation Pam and Tara had just prior to Pam's capture was very telling. Tara will no doubt try to save her maker and in the process either sacrifice her life for Pam or the two will die together.

That's all I got, now it's your turn to...

 

 

Burning Man

Is there no end to Eric Northman's charm?

Whether it was a case of Stockholm Syndrome, or his utter indifference, Willa Burrell most certainly had a thing for her captor as the two cozied up in Ginger's coffin on "You're No Good."
The opening scene slipped my mind at first after watching the rest of the episode, but it should not be overlooked. Eric discussed tearing her up sexually and what it would do to her father. It wasn't clear if she was frozen with fear or anticipation, but I think it is safe to say after seeing later scenes, that it was the latter.

Willa's mom left the governor for a vampire, and her daughter seems to be turned on much in the same way. Eric is using her for leverage, but if he isn't careful, he might start developing feelings for this human much like he did Sookie.

Poor Ginger, when it comes to her loyalty, she is pretty ride or die. Can't Eric throw some turbo hips at her for all she's done over the years?

Eric was smart not to listen to either Tara or Pam, though, as Willa proved to be a good source of intel. Even if Eric finds the camp, any good he does will be short-lived, considering the government will surely just build others, if they haven't already. Luckily Bill seemed to be on the path to discovering a more long-term remedy that would help humans and vampires coexist. But what's the saying? You can't bake a cake without breaking a few eggs?

After nearly walking himself to the true death, Bill had an epiphany it seemed. Coexisting in the daylight may be the road to salvation. Along with the professor Jessica was sent to seduce, Bill seemed fixated on finding a way to synthesize a new brand of True Blood, one infused with the same quality fairy blood possesses that enables vampires to walk in the sunlight. So cue the return of Yessica as she was sent to go seduce Professor Hiro Takahashi (who I can't for the life of me remember what he has been in before.)

 

It shouldn't have shocked anyone to see Sookie deny Bill a sample of her blood, but his "you are dead to me" response did catch me off guard. Fortunately for Sookie, Bill won't be pressuring her further, not after he discovered Andy's new family and the scent of their fairy blood. I hope he takes just what he needs and doesn't massacre them like Warlow did the fae at the club.

Speaking of which: were we really supposed to believe Ben spent the entire night searching in vain for that field? I am still a tad suspicious that he might be helping Warlow. The fact Sookie can feel him in her head unlike anyone else also gave me cause for concern.

Sookie, we know, can at least defend herself, but mixed up in this whole supernatural sh-t show still is Jason. Concussions or not, those headaches he was having are not the sort conventional medicine can cure. What do you think is plaguing our boy?

Sam is no doubt still suffering from a broken heart at the loss of Luna, but he hasn't even had time to grieve, what with trying to get Emma back. Lucky for him, he is not alone. I loved when Lafayette refused to let Sam take this challenge on by himself, sighting how when no one else would give him a shot, Sam did. Lafayette continued to make the most of his still limited screen time especially in the scene where he tried to help Nicole's weenie man from PENN.

Competition for scenes was made even more intense this week with the return of Holly Cleary and Sarah Newlin. The first shared some cute scenes with Andy as he taught her how to shoot, while feebly trying to stay made at him and keep his daughter's from reading her thoughts.

Sarah was less forgiving when she came face to face with her ex. She did look stunning as ever though and full of self empowerment now that she has made it on her own.

With Steve apparently not long for the world, I wonder if she will go looking for Jason to settle some old scores as well. Or maybe just for an old fashioned romp. It has been too long since the flatbed of his truck has seen some action.

Finally, we were left wondering along with Eric and Pam where Tara had run off to with Willa. Tara knew having her around was only going to make trouble for them. Tara wants Pam to herself, but Pam won't ever leave Eric. They have too much history as seen by the touching exchange at Fangtasia.

AYO Technology

The government, unlike 50 and J.T., aren't tired of using technology, as humans bit back this week on True Blood and showing their bite is as bad as their bark, courtesy of some new advanced weapons.

Indeed, the fragile peace between night and day walkers continued to dissolve on "The Sun," as we heard tales of torture by both parties. Man's capacity for cruelty has been well documented, but the blood bath in the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese did well to remind us all vampires are not as civil as Bill, Eric, Jessica, etc.

People such as Governor Burrell had been planning for a time like this, but the Authority and those who blew up the True Blood factories made it a reality. In the grand scheme of things, losing Fangtasia ranks pretty low on the list of potential grievances, but Pam has every right to be as upset as she has been. Quite frankly, I'm shocked she and Nora have not squared off yet.

Probably my favorite quote of the episode:

Bon Temps may lack certain modern accoutrements, but when it comes to supernaturals, it is chock full. It was great to see Full House and Friday Night Lights alum Jurnee Smollett make her series debut, but I'm suspicious of her and her alleged cause.

She and her friends seemed a little too TMZ and less Civil Rights-oriented as they snapped pictures of Sam and Alcide fighting.

Speaking of Alcide, why did he have to go and spoil what looked like an amazing sleepover party with Lafayette and Emma? The scene of them playing dress up earlier in the episode was one of my favorites.

Given how slow time moves on the show, I'm pretty sure Alcide was still hopped up on the V he took to win the fight for pack master.  Hopefully he will come to his senses when it wears off... but he and that loud mouthed Danielle needed to check themselves. I can't wait to see Laffa give that were-bitch what's coming to her.

If things get too dark this season, all the writers need do is insert an Andy Bellefleur scene in his new father role to add some surefire levity to things.

Morella was nowhere to be found, but we did meet Ben, another fae. Sookie is no doubt going to fall for this fresh new face, but something about him had my Spider Sense a tingling. I wish Sookie had stuck to her guns and just kept walking when she saw him laying there in the bushes, but I did love how at first she was like, "nope, not today." 

It's funny when we are reminded that along with everything going on in her life, Sookie still has shifts to work at Merlotte's.

I wasn’t buying that whole “I blasted him” story, when she asked how he got away from the vampire who attacked him. It had me doing the ole People's Eyebrow... could he be working for Warlow?

Ben is definitely bad news, so Sookie will most assuredly hook up with him.

Perhaps the weirdest moment of the episode came during the fairy family reunion. Anyone else notice Grandpa Niall dumping salt into his mouth like it was ground up viagras?

Even with the help of her fairy grandfather and trigger-happy Jason, it sounds like they are going to need some help to take down the Rob Zombie look-alike, who broke on through to the other side on that bridge.

While Sookie was busy harnessing her light, Eric took it upon himself to try to infiltrate the governor's mansion. I loved everything about the scene where Eric posed as the Fish and Wildlife representative with the glasses, combed down hair and timid voice.

One of my favorite moments of the episode was the point where Eric's voice changed as he referenced what a "tough f-cking bird" the whooping crane is.

Burrell got him pretty good when he pretended to be glamoured - but Eric got his swagger back when he peaced out on the guards and flew away. It will be interesting to see what Eric's plans for Willa Burrell are.
Arlene delivered a couple of the episode's best quotes, but I hope her speech to Patrick's wife was convincing enough to put that story line to bed. I'm a little worried this arc and the whole civil rights angle with Sam could take away valuable screen time from others.
Jason should have every opportunity to deliver lines like the one where he compared his grandfather to "Bubba" Fett and to flash his hilarious looks like when he found out he wasn't a fairy prince.

Jessica had every right to be worried about Bill and to try and wake him up when he went into that catatonic state. I'm torn on this one though, as to whether or not I would want to wake up from a dream where I'm walking around with an entourage of naked albeit blood covered B's.

Warlow is most certainly the tyrant Lilith spoke to Bill about, but who will be the two who become one Nora read about in the Vampire Bible? When light and dark collide their salvation will be at hand. Maybe Bill and Sookie need to reunite somehow. I'm sure Bill will figure it out, preferably in time to save everyone before his vision of them all burning under the sun comes true.
Enough of me chewing the fat.

Get in here and let me know what you thought!

Kill Bill

True Blood season 6 kicked off in the wake of Billith's resurrection as all hell broke loose. Eric was a gem as he helped Sookie escape a scene that was Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff.  The The relationship between Humans and Vampires was never tenable, but now it is donezo for realzo. Things in Louisiana are gonna get crazier than the night the Saints won the Super Bowl. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! Sam better double check the locks on Merlotte's unless he wants this guy stopping by for a reload.

Summer is here, but don't expect to see Pam-cakes at the beach anytime soon.

Did you notice Tara zipping up her fly when she and Pam rejoined the crew? We've seen turbo hips before from Eric, but T & P looked like they had just had a fast and furious turbo lips session.

 

 

Pam won't be inviting Eric's sister to any clam bakes anytime soon, that's for sure.

Eric is being pulled in all kinds of different directions by his females. No one ever said Pimpin' was easy, but he might pop his top if this keeps up. Sookie rescinding his invitation probably was a nice load off his back. Like Forrest Gump once said, "One less thing." No he can focus on more important matters like...

Jason was so amped up, he took a ride from a stranger that low and behold actually appeared to be his parents killer. It was pretty evident to everyone I think that, that dude was a Grade A creep. Jason has never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, and after all the mind raping, he was even more worse for wear.







 Jason's commentary about how his parents have gotten kind of racist and scary since going to heaven was priceless, as was the Sixth Sense reference. Perhaps the best Jason-ism though was when he said Sookie was going to send him to the Bunny Ranch, when he meant I think. to say the Funny Farm. There's a BIG difference between the kind of therapy that goes on at those two places.
Best laugh of the night though went to Sheriff Andy when he awoke to see his four baby girls all growns up.

 I liked Luna very much and had hoped she and Sam could have made a go at a semi normal life, as much as can be for two shifters in a supernatural laden world. She will be missed, but Laffa Poppins was a great stand in. His middle name might be "wrong place at the wrong time," but he was a lot more on his game when it came to consoling little Emma than I would have been after taking down half a bottle of Cuervo. Cook it up Laffa!

Governor Burrell definitely had me raising an eyebrow or two as to what exactly his angle is. He is as slippery a politician as they come. I wouldn't be surprised if he let the True Blood exec use that bottling plant so he can somehow sneak in and poison the well at some point.
Now lets get to what I know Laffa Brown wants to discuss. The perks of being pack master. Sure Alcide had to dig on that dead guy's arm, but I'd eat my own leg if it meant getting to roll in woods with Rikki and Danielle.

Great start to the season. There will be plenty to talk about I have a feeling.