YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS?!?!

Russel invokes John McEnroe to open the week up when Bill attacks him.
"Are you serious? I am almost three thousand years old."
Even Eric was impressed with how easily Russel dispensed of Bill in the opening scene. Russel basically told Bill, "your Karate's a joke Larusso!"

Eric jumps on the Russel train for now, probably realizing his bid for "Vengeance" is not going to be as easy as he thought. He proves useful to Russel as he has no problem putting Sookie in her place..."It thinks we are equals."
Did you notice how Russel sniffs Sookie like some animal would? Maybe she smells like humans used to. Like a fine wine, as opposed to the Franzia Box-o-Wine's of today.

Talbot cracks me up with how domestic he is and when he screams about the house getting trashed. "Do you care nothing about opur home??? You never take me anywhere instead you prefer the company of sycophants!!!"

Sookie threatens Lorena and she revels in the opportunity to rip Sookie open and wear her rib cage as a hat now that Godric is not around to save her. "In the spring, we'd make meat helmets..."

Eric did not take kindly to her insulting his maker but he is staying focused on his ultimate goal. Loved when he tells Sookie to shut up. She was pretty unbearable this week I felt, but a necessary evil nevertheless. She did look pretty amazing I have to admit during her game of "quid pro quo Clarice" with Russel.

"A husband's work is never done..." Russel returns to question Sooki in the library whilst buckling his belt after repairing the state of affairs of his marriage to Talbot. The question session was great. "That's two questions...MY TURN!" Sookie was visibly upset to see the file Bill had been keeping on her and I forgot about the time she threw the chain and it wrapped around the guy's neck. It was back in the very first episode in season 1, when that guy and girl were trying to drain Bill in Merlotte's parking lot.
The dance going on between Russel and Eric is interesting. Eric clearly trying to win the affection of Russel to gain his trust and get him in a vulnerable position. In the meantime Russel opens up about his arrangement with the wolves and how he agreed with Hitler that there is a master race, it's just not human.

Sophie Anne playing the Deuces Wild scratch and wins was classic. Someone commented awhile back that she should just rob a bank, but it sounds like the vampires are not as free as we thought. They are monitored by their own governing body as well as human government agencies like the IRS. Apparently the Right Wing is fearful of Vampires running Wall St. My mind went nuts with this one.
Eric puts "The Queen" in her place reminding her that he is the older and stronger vampire and has submitted to her only out of respect up till now. He tells her he will rip her head off and throw it in the pool and to go fuk herself. I don't think she got all those pearl necklaces from fukking "herself" over the years though do you?
Lafayette asks Jesus, "Does the term Satan in a Sunday hat mean anything to you?" Turns out Laffa is the evil one in Jesus's mind when he finds out about the drug dealing life of his new man. It was a shame the night had to end like that. They had so much fun playing pool. Then Jesus tell Laffa about feeding shots of tequilla to "Jobu." They beat the crap out of Crystal's fiance' didn't they? Love when Lafayette gets fired up like that..."Go tell your momma two f-ggots whooped ur ass bitch!!!" Jesus though not so impressed.
Tara picks up where her cousin left off when she absolutely owns Franklin. I had a couple questions though about these scenes. Why is is when Franklin runs to jump on the bed to show Tara that he has shaved does he not use his vampire speed like all the others do. Instead he sort of awkwardly hops onto the mattress after telling her "I won't be policed Tara." Then we don't really see Tara feel the affects of the V. Am I wrong in remembering that Jason would be tripping for hours on end when he took it? And lastly do we really think Franklin is dead?

Jason gets all pissed off about Crystal pretending to not know him. I would be upset too if I dusted off my varsity letterman jacket and bought some flowers. I thought she never cries, but didn't we see her shed a tear back in the woods earlier? Jason rejected and ego bruised has had enough so he decides to take care of his case of "Kitch-lash" when he sees the new "QB One" running a "naked boot" in the back seat of his car.

Jessica's lessons with Pam paid off as she now knows when to say when and is able to feed without killing the annoying patron. Really can't get enough of her these days. She is just so amazing.

Tommy and his mom would have been first round draft picks for Michael Vick it looks like as we learn they shift and fight for Joe Lee in the dog fighting circuit out of Union Parish. Would have loved to try one of those corn fritters cooked in bacon grease.

So I have referred to him as Swayze Wolf before when he was at the bar doing shots with Sookie, but it turns out that Gus, who Sookie and Tara beat up is actually none other than Don Swayze the younger brother of Patrick. Patrick would have been ashamed of the fight his bro put up. Dalton from "Road House" would never have gone out like that.
There was a lot of talk this week about age and seniority. I have read on some other True Blood chats that the older a vampire the longer their fangs should be, but after doing a comparison I don't know if that is necessarily the case. If I'm wrong, does "Fang Envy" exist amongst vampires. Like do young male vampires go brush their teeth in the bathroom stall at sleep away camp? Can female vampires get fang implants? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Lastly Bill and Lorena take us back in time with the Billie Holiday music, the old classical language and the midievil torture tools. I think those tools she was using were the same ones they used on William Wallace at the end of Braveheart. Lorena never looked better though and I loved the dialogue between her and Bill. You really got a sense for how much history they shared. We finish the week out with Lorena feeding on Sookie and us the fans thirsting for more.
Here is a LINK to see some scenes from the second half of the season if you'd like. It's ramping up nicely.

HELL HATH NO FURY....

The recap will be up tomorrow so save comments till then, but in the meantime I wanted to point out fellow blogger Jessica's site. She had a big episode last night as I will discuss tomorrow but check out her video posts till then. JESSICA'S BLOG
Great pic of Hoyt's new love interest.

"I found this photo on the Renard Parish Church Retreats and Spiritual Workshop Group photo page. Doodles by yours truly, Jessica Hamby :)"

Can Vampires Go Blind?

After seeing the way Eric got down on that dancer from Fangtasia, I began to wonder about something. You think he does other things that fast? With Bill back in Sookie's life and Alcide walking around with no shirt on all the time, Eric I feel has been demoted to third string yet again. He better stock up on some more tissues. Guys palms are going to be hairier than Cooter on a full moon.

Very excited for this weeks episode. I'm sure it will kick off with the Sookie/Cooter fight aftermath. Maybe Alcide and Bill will throw down with Russel while she escapes. Or it's possible our Viking prince Eric, comes flying in and sends Russel crashing through the wall.

Really would like to see Eric get medieval on some wolves or Russel.

Me Grimlock no bozo! Me KING!

The Painting Was a Gift Todd!

"She wants to be with me"- Franklin
"Hence the restraints."- Talbot

Franklin has become Tara's own version of Kathy Bates in Misery. But also reminded me of Todd from Wedding Crashers. "Let's play tummy sticks." Franklin shows his fangs when Lafayette texts Tara "Bitch where are you?" Franklin tries to wow Tara when he tells her to "watch how fast I can text Mothafucka." I know our own "Laffabrown" thinks he is pretty fast on the bberry, but even he has to tip a cap to Franklin's skills here I would think.
Tara unimpressed David Blaine's out of her restraints only to be tracked down by Cooter. So the wolves are indeed the day time watchers for the vampires.
Tara resorts to conversation as a last resort to reason with Franklin.
Tarah to Franklin- "we need to talk."
Franklin- "don't say that, women say that and everything goes black and I
wake up surrounded by body parts."
He wants to make her his vampire bride and offers to take her to a Shoney's in Vicksburg for her last meal as a human. I checked it out and yup there is a Shoney's Big Boy in Vicksburg MS at 3316 Pemberton Square Blvd.









Love seemed to be in the air this week. We see Terry moving into Arlene's celebrating his move into normality. He has found someone to argue and grow old and fat with. "It's normal and it's happening to me." She's a little crazy but so is Terry as Sam notes, so it works.

Lafayette and Jesus make a love connection. Was funny to see Laffa blush I gotta say.

Jason meanwhile is chompin at the bit to get out in the field. He can't be chained to no desk, he needs him a "cold case" or something. Loved that. He sees the girl from the night of the drug bust and the Dukes of Hazard music kicks in as the car chase ensues. Jason half naked in a squad car Ala Charlie Tweeter from Varsity Blues pulls over Crystal. Not sure what her deal is. All this "there is only today, there is no future for us," has me confused. Lot's of ideas in my head but I'll wait to see what you all have to say.


Jessica is really coming into her own. She's not afraid to use her vampire skills to her advantage like when she glamors the customers so they wouldn't tip Arlene. Tommy sees it and makes his move by putting down Hoyt.
"That's an overgrown 6th grader right there, he's little league...you're
a smokin hot vampire, the majors...Yeah and hell yeah too!"

I have to agree with Tommy on this one. Jessica has looked amazing lately now that she finally got out of the house. Too bad Tommy is owned head to tail by his creepy father. Can their dysfunctional tale be more complex then it looks on the surface?

Glad to see the Packmaster is skinning out of town because he delivered the worst line of the week when he said "Alcide OBEY!" Might as well tell him to roll over and play dead too. WEAK.

Bills file is brought to question before Cooter comes in. Russel summons
the guard for Bill and all of a sudden it's Bill not Lorena who put himself in a
corner. Cooter comes to give Bill some "sexy good news" about Sookie and we see the old Bill snap out of his act and snarl "WHERE IS SOOKIE!?"


Talbot takes Eric on the grand tour and amidst the 16th century Japanese Vampire Erotica he comes across a familiar object. We see Eric as a Viking playboy more concerned with the busty redhead who feeds the goats than his duties as a king's son. But after Russel's wolves slaughter his family he promises his dying father Vengeance. This marks the beginning of Eric's quest to find the man responsible. The one who commands the wolves. The path which lead him to work for the SS as we saw in previous flashbacks.


Good episode for sure. Setting up a lot of good story lines I think for the future. We can only wait and see what happens. Hopefully they don't forget about Pam. I really don't want to see the magistrate stake her. Loved seeing Sookie zap Cooter with her telepathic blast. Russel seemed thrilled as well which can't be a good thing.

I know you all are going mad...

waiting to get your comments in, but the recap will be posted tomorrow as usual so just wait one more day to do so. In the meantime though, I did come across a picture of Hoyt's tee shirt that I had commented on previously. It's so amazing in it's simplicity.


Be sure to stop by tomorrow and discuss the blood with the rest of us. I'll try my best to deliver a good one to appease your thirsts and avoid any blood shed in the streets.

Ring Ring Hooka Ring Ring

Tara can't come to the phone right now Lafayette, she's being held captive by a cheeky deranged vampire, please leave a message and she'll get back to you as soon as humanly possible.
Franklin asks about Sookie's telepathic powers but we learn that Franklin's employer is not only interested in Sookie but even more so has questions about Bill Compton in particularly. He glamors Sookie so hard I wondered if she can even remember who Eggs was. When he was talking for her I was sufficiently creeped out but impressed at the same time.
Did anyone else thing Sookie was gonna pull off a Jedi Mind Trick and make her cell phone fly into her hand like Luke Skywalker?

Perhaps he was trying to learn about Bill's days working at a procurer for Sofie Anne. Russel was certainly interested. Bill wants Lorena gone after he fulfills his duties. When he is assured by Russel he spills about Eric selling V at the Queens behest.
Bill will have to put up with Lorena a bit longer so maybe we'll see him hit her with another uppercut like Mike Tyson taking out Little Mac in Punch Out.


I was waiting for the blood tears to come out here but got denied.
Sookie unfortunately can't see Bill's hate for Lorena as she fields the break up call from him. "I am DEATH." Lorena and I, you know'd, like only two vampires could. Bill's cold delivery was clearly an attempt to hide his real feelings and had him coming off like Eric when he tries to hide his feelings for Sookie when he is around her.

Eric puts up a good front, but goes all R.Kelly "I Believe I Can Fly" in his day dream of Sookie. Sookie tells him she had "got skills u can't even dream of cowboy." I have a feeling that pertains to the bedroom as well as her telepathic prowess.

Eric has some competition though with this Alcide character. Although still hung up on this Debbie, that dog definitely has a red rocket for Sookie. He runs hot for our girl.

THAT'S CALLED CLOSING THE DEAL

Jessica is recognized by a bible beater from her home town. I thought she was going to have another body to hide beneath the floor boards, but luckily for her there is that whole glamour trick. Kudos to Jessica for using her head instead of causing someone to lose theirs again.


Sookie goes biker chic thanks to Janice in order to blend in and do shots with werewolf Patrick Swayze. We find out that Russel is supplying V to the wolves which explains why he wants to unseat the queen and cut out the competition. looking like the love child of Eric and the Matrix's Morpheus. He drops a dime to the Magister on Eric and we see Pam tied up in the basement of Fangtasia. normally this would be a good thing, but she is being tortured in this case and blames Bill Compton for the V sales. Eric while telling Lafayette that he lacks artistry. "boss man look at this face it's nothing but art." Eric rolls down the window and flies away when Pam contacts him and Laffa delivers a gem of a line, "Oh hell how am I supposed to deal with this fucked-up-ness?"

Jason meanwhile is just trying to get his crew a round after a long day. Arlene flustered as usual snaps back "long day? it's lunch!" Jason sizes up the new QB1 Kitch Meynard and tells him how it is. "Right now you got the world at your feet, people serving u beer under age, girls sucking your cock whenever u say go, no offense Tammy...ten years from now years from now there's gonna be another version of you, but ten years younger, then who you gonna be?"
Jason finally found someone he can confuse more than himself. We also may have founf his soul mate in the blonde he saw in the woods that night who we learn lives with the guys Laffa tries to sell the V too. Loved when she offers to go get the Dirt Devil obliviously.

Sam's family are dead beats. Bill glamors a peeler for a late night snack, Sookie doesn't have a nut sack, the only way to get ahead in this town is to drink like a fish, hallucinate and fondle farm animals and kill a black person...promotion!

Life is a hell we'll never get out of alive but this show certainly helps.