Ring Ring Hooka Ring Ring

Tara can't come to the phone right now Lafayette, she's being held captive by a cheeky deranged vampire, please leave a message and she'll get back to you as soon as humanly possible.
Franklin asks about Sookie's telepathic powers but we learn that Franklin's employer is not only interested in Sookie but even more so has questions about Bill Compton in particularly. He glamors Sookie so hard I wondered if she can even remember who Eggs was. When he was talking for her I was sufficiently creeped out but impressed at the same time.
Did anyone else thing Sookie was gonna pull off a Jedi Mind Trick and make her cell phone fly into her hand like Luke Skywalker?

Perhaps he was trying to learn about Bill's days working at a procurer for Sofie Anne. Russel was certainly interested. Bill wants Lorena gone after he fulfills his duties. When he is assured by Russel he spills about Eric selling V at the Queens behest.
Bill will have to put up with Lorena a bit longer so maybe we'll see him hit her with another uppercut like Mike Tyson taking out Little Mac in Punch Out.


I was waiting for the blood tears to come out here but got denied.
Sookie unfortunately can't see Bill's hate for Lorena as she fields the break up call from him. "I am DEATH." Lorena and I, you know'd, like only two vampires could. Bill's cold delivery was clearly an attempt to hide his real feelings and had him coming off like Eric when he tries to hide his feelings for Sookie when he is around her.

Eric puts up a good front, but goes all R.Kelly "I Believe I Can Fly" in his day dream of Sookie. Sookie tells him she had "got skills u can't even dream of cowboy." I have a feeling that pertains to the bedroom as well as her telepathic prowess.

Eric has some competition though with this Alcide character. Although still hung up on this Debbie, that dog definitely has a red rocket for Sookie. He runs hot for our girl.

THAT'S CALLED CLOSING THE DEAL

Jessica is recognized by a bible beater from her home town. I thought she was going to have another body to hide beneath the floor boards, but luckily for her there is that whole glamour trick. Kudos to Jessica for using her head instead of causing someone to lose theirs again.


Sookie goes biker chic thanks to Janice in order to blend in and do shots with werewolf Patrick Swayze. We find out that Russel is supplying V to the wolves which explains why he wants to unseat the queen and cut out the competition. looking like the love child of Eric and the Matrix's Morpheus. He drops a dime to the Magister on Eric and we see Pam tied up in the basement of Fangtasia. normally this would be a good thing, but she is being tortured in this case and blames Bill Compton for the V sales. Eric while telling Lafayette that he lacks artistry. "boss man look at this face it's nothing but art." Eric rolls down the window and flies away when Pam contacts him and Laffa delivers a gem of a line, "Oh hell how am I supposed to deal with this fucked-up-ness?"

Jason meanwhile is just trying to get his crew a round after a long day. Arlene flustered as usual snaps back "long day? it's lunch!" Jason sizes up the new QB1 Kitch Meynard and tells him how it is. "Right now you got the world at your feet, people serving u beer under age, girls sucking your cock whenever u say go, no offense Tammy...ten years from now years from now there's gonna be another version of you, but ten years younger, then who you gonna be?"
Jason finally found someone he can confuse more than himself. We also may have founf his soul mate in the blonde he saw in the woods that night who we learn lives with the guys Laffa tries to sell the V too. Loved when she offers to go get the Dirt Devil obliviously.

Sam's family are dead beats. Bill glamors a peeler for a late night snack, Sookie doesn't have a nut sack, the only way to get ahead in this town is to drink like a fish, hallucinate and fondle farm animals and kill a black person...promotion!

Life is a hell we'll never get out of alive but this show certainly helps.