Fu-k Like a Champion today

Great Godric's ghost where to begin. Welcome back blood fans! Season 5 kicked off with a bang, or in the case of Eric and Nora a "bang bang bang bang!!!" I always was the type to go right to the bottom of the cereal box to find the toy, so lets not waste any time getting to what we all know was the best part of the episode.
The University of West Virginia had drafted a letter asking Eric Northman to be it's commencement speaker after seeing him cavort with his sister but has since recanted the invite after they learned as we did that the two are not of "blood" relation in the normal incestuous sense but rather are bonded by the same maker. While said revelation did make enjoying the shipping container twistfest less creepy and negating the need of a post view shower, I don't think anyone really would have covered their eyes even if it had remained taboo like we initially were lead to believe.

Much has been written in the off-season about the budding bromance between Eric and Bill. While the appearance of Nora certainly put a temporary halt to any potential games of tummy sticks, there definitely were signs of said mancrushing in the premier.

 

There just was so much to love about this whole scene including the coitus interruptus caused by Eric's phone and his subsequent words with the critical Nora.

One of my favorite scenes was when Bill and Eric were handed their new identities. Ike Tannenbaum was about as good a fit as Todd Wilkonson was for Vinnie Antonelli in My Blue Heaven. 

One point of contention I had though was with the following scene where the Authority came storming in. Did the guys who were able to smoke the surrounding dissenters like the Predator did Mac really need ropes to rappel down to the dock? I'm assuming these guys were all vampires. If I was mistaken then yes ropes were definitely a good call fellas.

Moving on to the second potential sword fight of the night, Reverend Newlin wasn't doing the church's reputation any favors, shows up at Jason's door and attempting to glamor his way through the back door of Jason's stacked house. Jason was amazing as usual with lines like the one about fangs being twin hard ons for trouble and feeding on somebody. If Jason playing altar boy was what it took to produce Jessica in her red cape than so be it. I'd expect Jason to take communion six days a week and twice on Sunday.

Let's stick with "Girlfriend Fukker" and his lady of the night while we're on the subject. So Jessica becomes head of Bill's no malice palace and dialed up some coeds for a little game of Rock Band. "Delta Delta Delta, can I helpya helpya helpya?"

"Yeah this is Jessica Hamby the red headed vampire you met the other night at your Pimp's and Ho's party. Why don't you round up a few of your most morally devoid sisters and a few of your leading date rapists guy friends and come on over to my house for some underage drinking and video games."

While I wasn't the biggest fan of the green streak in D.A. Woll's hair, I would have played the wireless Fender Stratocaster till my fingers bled if it meant getting to watch her dance in front of the TV like that.

While I couldn't take my eyes off Miss Hamby, Sam had a little case of the wandering eye as well while being threatened by the curvaceous she wolf Rikki. It was very subtle but he def snuck a peak at her full moons while she accused him of killing Marcus.

While the shifters were shedding their clothes, poor Pam was taking one for the team and donning a Walmart sweatsuit adorned with kittens and flowers. There is no limit to what she will do to get Eric back. 

Hopefully we will get our sexy Pam-cakes back in upcoming weeks. I think I would let our own Laffa Brown bury me next to a dead chick if it meant we get to see a little three way action between Pam, Eric and Nora at some point.

The real Lafayette though has had it with all the supernatural B.S. apparently. So much so that he stared down Alcide when he growled at him. He was carrying around that bottle of tequila like Jesus's D was at it's bottom instead of the worm.

He may have thought better of getting in the face of the big bad wolf had he caught our boy's off season work outs.

I'm not into the crazy Terry storyline in the least bit right now and I hope for god's sake that we have seen the last of Sheriff Andy's backside.

Line of the episode should be no surprise as this week's recap title was taken from it.

Eric: We fight like siblings, but we fuk like champions. 

Fail of the week: Jason not taking down Cammy the coed with the slammin' body.

Regrettable Scene: Sookie still has not learned how to cry convincingly. If I was Tara I would have stayed under the dirt too instead of waking up and having to listen to that squalling.

So much to look forward to. I think it will be interesting to see how Tara's relationship with Sookie changes and also what happens when Pam takes up her role as maker.

The emergence of the Authority as a major storyline is going to be awesome. The previews of Christopher Meloni have intrigued me since they were first released.

That's it for me this week. I am gushing with anticipation to read your comments.

Special Thanks to: @tempella, @I'mHereforSookie and @vikingpunk for their amazing contributions to the True Blood fan art community.