DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS

Sorry for the delay in posting, my flight back from the Festival of Tolerance got all screwed up. Let's do this!
Eric and Bill sword fighting with Sookie was a hell of a way to bounce back from that brutal shower scene. Well done Mr. Ball. What a great dream sequence that was, from Sookie wearing the blood red unspeakables to Eric and Bill looking into each other's eyes as Sookie hovered above them. It reminded me of I was so sucked in and wowed by Sookie's dream control that when it was over I realized I had thought it might have actually been real. Then my inner Debbie Gibson kicked in and reminded me, No, only in her dreams, as real as it may seem, it was only in Sookie's dream.
This Antonia is on quite the ego trip. She bout popped her lid when someone called her Marnie. Guess it was OK though for her to forget Eric's name.
Antonia: Tell them Blonde One.
Eric: I am yours.
Just when I start to think she isn't all that Blair Witch, she goes and does something like make the doors lock behind her after she basically told her "followers," Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt.

If Alcide had listened to his pack master and Debbie Dope Fiend, he would have spared himself yet another dose of Sookie heart break. She doesn't dig your kind Alcide, you gotta get over it. Maybe she did at some point but right now she doesn't have any werewolves on her starting lineup. Sookie may end up indulging his fantasy's at some point, but their twist will be like the Wildcat Offense in the NFL. While its nice to switch things up, it is in no way a game changer and Sookie will go back to her bread and butter like Offensive Coordinators have time and time again. If I was Alcide I'd be more worried about what's going on at home. You're GF is studying up on how to bang Marcus behind your back. Did you notice she was watching Cheaters.com on TV when Alcide came home from the cemetery fight? Debbie is putting her time in watching film of people cheating on exes and banging hoes, X's and O's if you will. I knew Debbie was dumb but even junkies aren't that stupid that they would just take down a vile of V and not suck out the very last drop. At some point you can't get anymore peanut butter out with a knife, that's when you get in there with your fingers. There was def some V left in that vial. Such waste.
Loved her Thriller eyes as Alcide got into bed next to her. I often imagined that's what my own peepers looked like after i would come home from a big night out and just stare at the ceiling for hours on end.

Tommy meanwhile threw himself right into the coverage and took a beating for it. What did he think he was going to accomplish there?

Sookie as discussed earlier was in Cover 2 defense, but not exactly playing prevent with Eric and Bill in her dream as she didn't seem opposed to letting someone get behind her... nah mean? Loved her feeble attempt to dissuade Eric's advance by pointing out it was daytime. I was waiting for him to fire back "it's called a Nooner Sookie, get used to it."
Jason was finally back where he belonged as VB1 with his hands under center taking the snaps. We've never argued about his intelligence, but there is no doubt Jason's heart is bigger than his brain. The simple act of crossing out the "Monster Box" showed his sensitivity and thoughtfulness with regard to Jessica.
How about that symbolism by the way? Hoyt packs up Jessica's things and gives them to Jason, he handed over her box to him. He was ALL ABOUT the Monster BOX in the back of his pick up boy. LOVED IT! Bout time!

I really hope this relationship has legs. Loved seeing the Twilight book in Jessica's stuff, but not sure I can get behind the Taylor Swift CD, although the lyrics to her song "Haunted" were perfect for the scene.

While one relationship was blossoming, another was emerging from the ashes of post fraternal skinwalker coitus confusion. "Don't you worry, I'm a multiple tent owner, I'm kind of a bid deal," has to be one of the better lines Sam has ever delivered. And what a move turning into the bunny was. Forget Cat Barbie not liking him, now that he can turn into a bunny, Sam could make Emma's Barbi fuck G.I. Joe while he made Ken watch for all she cares. Slippery slope you're on there though Sam. If she finds out that was you and not the Cadbury Bunny, she is going to have you changing into a puppy, a hamster, a goldfish, you name it. Dang imagine the tail you could pull in if your best friend could turn into a puppy? Also what if you wake up one morning and there's no milk for your coffee? Could you have your room mate shift into a cow and try to milk him? Is that weird? I know I'm a freak but I KNOW I wasn't the only one who giggled when Emma said she one day hoped she could turn into a bunny so she could pet herself whenever she wants. No? SCREW YOU FOR JUDGING ME!!!
I'm pretty sure she is going to be a shifter. Did you notice how she was wearing a My Little Pony tee shirt to go along with her mom's horse shirt? I feel like the shifting gene is passed on through the mother's side, like religion and baldness.

My favorite storyline of the week I am shocked to admit was the resolution of the "bay-bee" snatching with Lafayette. From Andy breaking down the door to Jason insulting Jesus it had it all. Nothing was better though than Jesus explaining to the baby mamma's ghost that she was in the body of a man. Her reaction to Jesus being gay followed by her crotch grabbing had me on the floor.

It was also a very emotional scene at the end where you had Arlene holding her baby, Lafa holding the dead baby's skeleton and then the spirit lady holding the ghost of her child as well.
But overall it was some pure comedy. Who knew Jesus had so much power.

Other quotes I loved:
Hoyt: Lafayette just walked into my place with Arlene's baby, a doll and a gun!

Terry: I knew that Fortenberry kid wasn't right! Had one just like him in my platoon.

Mavis: You sound like a white man you!
Andy: Open this door you racist shit bag or I will open it for you.

Andy: On behalf of Reynard Parish, the state of Louisiana and Jesus Christ his fucking self, ready or not here we come.

Bill: I am the King of Louisiana I do not share.

Jason: I got a theory. when you guys, uh, role play, does Lafayette ever turn into a woman named Mavis?
Jesus: I'm gonna forget you just said that and I'm gonna head in.

Jesus: Terry I'm a nurse, I'm not even going to pretend to understand what you just said.


Alcide and Marcus: To Shreveport and communicating shit!

Mavis: Mr. Lafayette thank you for everything.
Lafayette: You got it bitch.

Antonia follower: Fucking chill Roy!!!



This week looks to be a banger with only three episodes left we are in for a treat. Bill caps Eric, Antonia gets a surprise as Jesus finally becomes the witch we saw a flash of last season through Lafa's eyes. and Nan gets her hands dirty finally.



Thanks to Peachiex and Imhereforsookie for some of the awesome GIFs and images used this week.