Sticks & Stones May Break My Bones But Chains and Crypts Excite Me

Antonia Gavilán blah blah somethin somethin had a message for Bill..." I am returned." Forgetting for a second this B's terrible grammar, is anyone else totally confused as to what this chicks name is? Not since the days of Indigo Montoya have I had this much trouble understanding a characters name. Tell Bill I am Antonia Gavilán of Logroño and I am returned..." Um yeah could you spell that for me? What was that last part dear? Longoria?"
Probably would have been a smarter play to just keep her mouth shut, so she could have caught the vampires of 2011 off-guard like she did in 1610, but instead she just had to reveal her master plan. Such hubris is always the downfall of super villains, see Dr.Evil.
OK enough of that. I'll "zip it" and move on.
We sadly said goodbye to Katy and her trusty iPad. I was not under the impression she was a vampire, but when Antonia had Luis kill her I'm pretty sure I saw her fangs pop in and out right before she took her last breath. I just hate seeing the V on V crime. I will miss her and her sexy school teacher glasses.
On the subject of sexy school teachers, Luna got to the bottom of her sexcapade with Tommy and she and Sam both were blown away by their revelation. I liked her comment about how if they hadn't just layed off their security team she would have had Sam tossed out. The writers have done a nice job of subtley inserting references to the greater global financial crisis that plagues them all in addition to all the supernatural issues. We learned that the signs attributed to skin walking are a high fever and vomiting and here I thought Luna may have just been in need of some serious Massengill. Sam channeled Marcellus Wallace when he basically told Tommy he lost all his Bon Temps privileges. I tell you what now between me and you Tommy. There is no me and you. Not no more. You leave town today, right now. And when you're gone, you stay gone, or you be gone. Great line by Tommy though referencing the cause of his vomiting when he told Sam he must have, "eaten something he didn't mean to."

Speaking of eating something and regretting it Tara turned on her inner bitch and sent Naomi packing in hopes of saving her life. Sick truck btw Naomi. I've always been a fan of the Scout which I think you were driving.
As for Tara, our resident "halfsbian" she was a little too quick to jump into bed with Antonia. At first Tara wasn't too keen on Marnie referring to herself in the third person like a Leon Budweiser ad, but Antonia quickly set T straight, telling her in so many words, "there is no Dana only Zuul." It looks though like Tara will come to a moral crossroads when she realizes that she and the circle are just killing vampires across the board. She needs to figure out what her motivations are for following Antonia. Not so sure Tara will have a leg to stand on though. Did she not see this coming? What did she think Antonia was talking about when she said they were going to take their revenge on the creatures that have tortured, killed, raped and eaten humans for centuries?

I had to laugh when Tara was trying to recruit members to join Antonia/Marnie Madoff's coven. It sounded like she was pumping a Wiccan pyramid scheme as she told the potential recruits they each needed to bring someone else in.
Antonia's speech to the coven was reminiscent of Herb Brook's speech in Miracle.
"Vampires are not immortal, they are just harder to kill. Our human spirits are immortal."

Great moments are born from great opportunity, and that's what you have here tonight, fellow witches. That's what you've earned here tonight. One spell; if we tried to kill them off ten times, they might win nine. But not this game, not tonight. Tonight, we hang with them. Tonight we stay with them, and we shut them down because we can. Tonight, we are the greatest supernatural beings in the world.You were born to be witches, every one of you, and you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great life the vampires have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it!


Eric certainly seized the moment making sure his reunion with Sookie was a happy one and really put salt in Bill's wounds when he added "very much so." Bill was busy ordering his subjects to brace for the Resurrection while Sookie braced for Eric's E-rection on the floor, on her couch and then in her bed. "At least there's one thing you haven't forgotten."-Sookie.

Not gonna lie, I felt bad for Bill. While his own man tried to penetrate him with a wooden stake, his ex is getting staked by a whole other kind of wood. The guys gotta get something on the tape soon. Evil Fast Willy Clinton lowered the bar of standards to get his rocks off while tending to worldly matters at his desk. Sipping glasses of blood alone in his office is not going to take the edge off.
Hopefully he got some of that pent up energy out of his system when he thwarted the attempt on his life and topsy-turvyed that motherfucker.

That is going to come back to haunt Antonia. Ask any fan of HBO's The Wire... You come at the king, you best not miss.

Personal side note. After going back to watch the episode a second time I noticed something familiar sitting on Bill's bar. A bottle of TY KU Citrus Liqueur which was created by a buddy of mine from school named Kirk Spahn and his business partner.





Moving on, no amount of blood or booze could make Pam feel better about getting that medievil spa treatment, let alone having to endure six shots, four times a day...forever!
The doctor can get he a bulk discount on the shots though, so she's got that going for her... which is nice.

Meanwhile Andy had a sure thing lined up but he ended up choosing the V order the P. Is there a problem officers? Yeah I'd say so.









Jason is never one to pass up a lady in need. It was great too see him back working out and getting his mind off the were-panther mess. If your biggest problem is seeing flashes of Jessica Hamby riding you like Zorro things are going pretty well. I think I could have done a push up with no hands after that scene.
(BTW my first attempt at making a GIF image)

make animated gifs
MakeAGif

Then there's Hoyt. What kind of friend brings up your getting raped right after being offered sloppy joe's? Jason's face was classic though wasn't it?

How bout this Ginger, Pam's servant. First off, you notice all the bite marks on her arms and legs? Chick will do anything for the V. Second, when she climbed on top of Pam's coffin (which of course was inlaid with pink satin) and it started bumping I got the feeling Ginger was at first terrified but then sort of liked it not unlike Kate Craig enjoyed her spin cycles in The Great Outdoors.
Meanwhile Alcide is over this whole Debbie Drama. Also I was a little bummed to see that all you needed to do to join a werewolf pack was to take a knee and get some deer blood smeared on your forehead.
Jason running to save Jessica was special, although I gotta think getting taken down by that Vampire rent-a-cop was a serious shot to the former QB1's ego.

I do think he gets to her in time and our beloved Jessica will be saved by Jason as he wins the day.

Other Favorite Quotes:

Pam: Play fair now...I AM NOT A ZOMBIE!

Lafayette: I swear to God I'll burn this taco stand to the ground!

Lafayette: Can we go back to how I'm a medium?

Tara: Everyone I've ever been with is dead. It ain't a long list but it's a bad one to be on.

Jason: You hungry? I could make us sloppy joe's?
Hoyt: It will kill me if I lose her.
Jason: Right, two coming up!

Sookie: We left our clothes in the woods.

Lafayette: Old Luca could have warned me. I felt like a giant ass puppet for your ghost ass uncle.
Jesus: Being a medium is a serious calling.
Lafayette: I wish I didn't have to answer.
Jesus: You are the answer.

Wiccan Follower: I can ask my boyfriend, he has great spiritual energy when he's not stoned.

Eric: I don't want my memory back, I don't want to remember.

Lafayette: What the fu...Get outta my kitchen!

Debbie: Keep goin...no wait scoot off.

Sam: I don't care how it happened, it fucking happened!

Jessica: I don't care who started it! When we survive the day I am going to eat that fucking witch starting with her face.

Bill: As your maker I command you...unchain me!