Cry Me A River

Before we get started does anyone else have to cry? Go ahead, get it out of your system because I'm over it. True Blood became True Boo Hoo this week and to be honest I was on the verge of tears myself in the first 15 minutes with Tara's over acting, Bill looking like a strung out Ray Liotta in "Goodfellas" and Sookie's delusional talk about how she and Bill's relationship has been "one long blood fight." Poor Sookie has been listening to too much Jordin Sparks asking "why does love always feel like a battlefield.?" She has been waiting for it all to end so she and Bill could start a life like a normal couple and fill out the pages of her scrap book. (That was ridiculous btw) Hate to break it to you Sook...It never ends. Relationships are always a "blood fight." Thankfully the episode finished stronger than it started and left me wanting more as usual.

Loved how the Queen is pissed off about the lack of closet space at Russel's.
Talbot is none too happy about the new room mate. He is at his limit what with, Franklin's brains not washing off the linens, having to bury werewolves beneath the gazebo and finding out "that bitch Sookie Stackhouse" staked Lorena. He has had enough excitement thank you very much. He goes as far as to destroy some of Russel's treasures but Eric stops him when he picks up his father's Viking crown.

Russel is acting like a century old child Talbot says, but he still delivers some great lines like when Debbie laments to him about Cooter getting shot. He tells her "oh he died a hero honey."
Classic.

The "Were-Bitch" Debbie calls Sookie a "C." Russel does not disagree, but he adds that she is a special "C" nevertheless.

Tara has a wet shower dream about her former captor. Apparently she is still haunted by what happened but she seemed to be liking her some Franklin in the shower before she woke up. Arlene does not sleep as soundly. She dreams about Renee, who tells her their baby is going to finish what he started.

Later we see her interviewing the new waitress Holly who says The Chili's she used to work at had a vampire bus boy. "He was real fast." She shocks Arlene when she notices that she's is pregnant. Interesting little moment there. Is this Holly some sort of "thing" as well.

Along the same lines we learn that Lafayette has "great power" apparently. His Mom and Jesus both see it. Lala's mom was a riot. "I gotta pee Jesus I'll be right back...TV's all f-gs, murderers and ho's...where's the clicker." Lafa is right though, waving a kitchen knife at someone is a hell of a way to show them you care, but Jesus seems adamant that his new BF's energy can go dark on him if he's not careful.

More crying, Sookie while sun bathing, Tommy after his mom leaves.


This Tommy is really a pit bull though. The blonde cougar at the bar definitely seemed to think so. He goes after Hoyt and then steps right in when Felton and Calvin are hassling Sam about Crystal's whereabouts.
Felton makes it known that he is aware that Sam and Tommy are shifters. It was an epic showdown between two shifters and whatever the hell the other two guys are.










We see one of their buddies chewing up Bambi when Jason went there to crack some skulls.

Hadley emerges from the Queen's bedroom after she was finished getting gnawed on herself. Eric (who we see once again has the bleeds) gives her a message to deliver to Sookie. She tells her cousin that "Russel is coming for you. Don't trust Bill"
She hopes Sookie can forgive her. Sookie asks for what, then I think she heard her say "I already told them that you're my fault." At least that's what I think I heard.
Debbie ends up coming with her wolf pals and while Eric and Jessica handle the males, Sookie tangles upstairs with Debbie. Sookie seems to like the action as well as tasting her own blood which is still mostly Bill's at this point and giving her strength. I did not realize Debbie was a werewolf herself. I was surprised when we saw her change into the white wolf and run away.

Jessica is Bills Fault one could say, but he tries to make up for lost time and teach her some vampire moves like Morpheus does Neo. The scene had a sort of Keanu Reeves montage as later Bill tells Jessica it's over between him and Sookie. She exclaims "No Way?!" To which Bill replies "Way." Bill was Morpheus to Jessica's Neo. Jessica again channels a Keanu character, this time quoting a line from Ted Theodore Logan. Then Bill channels Bill S. Preston Esquire with his response. And funny enough the same actor, Alex Winter, played a vampire in 1987's "The Lost Boys."











Speaking of lost boys, Eric takes his first step toward vengeance as he stakes Talbot in the back sending Russel into a roar of anger and hurt. Probably because the last thing he said to his beloved was "oh poor Talbot are your diamond slippers chaffing?"
Bill is spared a beat down after asking Russel if he is a coward or just lazy. Nice of Bill though to potentially sacrifice himself to save Jessica. Man she was fast when she ran away from Swayze only to later catch him and drain his F list celebrity ass.


And to stay on the subject of ass, Sookie and Bill get down once again culminating in what appeared to be mutual orgasmic choke holds. Oxygen deprivation can be rather stimulating, so I'm told, but you need to make sure you have a spotter. I was happy to see the two were practicing "safe sex."

We started slow in a sea of tears, but ended up in a wash of other bodily fluids this week. Another good episode all in all. The Tommy and Sam story line is gaining momentum I think. Jessica looked in the fight scene. Arlene is carrying Satan's spawn

True Blood Psycho?

There is an idea of a Bill Compton; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.

RESPECT MY "AU-THO-RI-TAH"

We jump back in this week with the culmination of the Sookie, Lorena, Bill love triangle. Before her bloody demise, Lorena notes how tasty Sookie's blood is. We learn later that she in fact had no blood type which would account for the unique taste. Sookie steaks Lorena and Bill covered in her blood looks like Carol Anne from Poltergeist when she falls through the ceiling into the bathtub in front of Craig T. Nelson.
Debbie walks in while Sookie and Tara are making bill into a "Vampire Burrito" and we learn the reason she left Alcide was because he refused to give her a child and bring another werewolf into the world. Cooter comes barging in and Alcide shoots him. Cooter tries to turn, probably because as a wolf they are more powerful, but before he can complete the shift Alcide puts one more shot in his dome like Jason did Eggs.
Bill feeds off Sookie and nearly kills her before Tara kicks him to the curb. (ANYONE GET A LOAD OF T's BICEPS?)







Bill at first after seeing what he had done touched Sookie's cheek affectionately, but after the truck drives away leaving him literally in the dust, he curses "damn" as if he just lost his meal ticket instead of his one true love.
And oh yeah the sun does not bother Bill now apparently.

Sookie is rushed to the hospital and we see her slip into a dream state where she meets Claudine in her Happy Place of sorts. Sookie's inner power is a light and we see that her cup is empty as she is nearly dead. Claudine refills it for her and asks her to stay with her and the rest of the extras from Prince's video for "When doves Cry." Claudine invokes the Men Without Hats' "Safety Dance," when she tells Sookie in so many words "we can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind 'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, Well they're no friends of mine"

Sookie is scared to go into the water but she hears Claudine tell her it wasn't the water that killed her parents. Then the darkness appears in her dream world as we assume Bill walks into the hospital room. One of Claudine's people says "I've never seen a vampire before," as she is fleeing into the pool of light. Claudine warns Sookie not to let Bill steal her light.

Side note when that woman comes out of the pool did anyone else think of Phoebe Cates in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" or Christie Brinkley in "Vacation?"

Our resident Jeff Spicoli meanwhile tells Hoyt he is depressed despite not thinking he was smart enough to ever be so. Summer shows up and really wants Hoyt to taste her biscuits and the butter that she churned by hand. He balks at the offer but not Jason. Hard to imagine there are any biscuits on Bon Temps that he hasn't tasted when you think about it. "She's gonna make a great grandma some day!" WTF? Hahaha...vintage Jason.
Very suggestive camera work here with Jason holding the pair of biscuits in his hand and staring at Summer and then Hoyt as he walks out eating the lot.
Jason is focused for now though on Crystal who we learn is cousin to the drug dealer Jason has locked up who also happens to be the brother of her fiance'. Do the math on that one.
Loved Jason acting all tough to the drug dealer..."I'm a Cop....(that's not what I heard)...I'm ALMOST a Cop!"

Eric feeds on Sookie's cousin Hadley and finds out her secret much to the Queens chagrin. This Sookie really must be the Bee's Knee's ay? BTW anyone notice Eric's hand on Hadley's left breast in the second tile in the collage above? He was grabbing it just below her own hand and squeezing while drinking her blood, as if he was pumping the keg at a frat party. The show's attention to detail is amazing and appreciated by this fan.

Sam comes to Tommy's rescue and we see once again how he can speak to animals. He can't figure out though what hold Joe Lee has over his mother and bro. I wonder if his mom passed on the shifting ability while it was Joe Lee who passed on the ability to speak to the animals. Either way he is just a sad old man in saggy underpants. I was actually into this story line for a hot second I will admit. Was glad to see Sam set all the dogs free.

Back to the crux of the show though... Eric gets to the Magister as he is about to pierce Pam's eye lids with some Tiffany ear rings. Russel gets there next and tells Eric he loves his place, loves it's vibe and that they must talk franchising later. Is there anyone cooler than Russel right now? He laughs in the face of the Magister and his "Authority." There's a new fukin authority in town. In a flash Russel releases Pam and puts the Magister in chains. There is only one law, the law of nature and Russel has been around way longer than anyone else it seems like. The Queen looked disgusted earlier as she and Russel were married, shortly after looks at her newly betrothed with awe and admiration. But the entire viewing audience including us at home stood agape as he administered the TRUE DEATH to the Magister. WOW!

So much going on. Next week looks even better. Sound off on what your thoughts are I look forward to the comments and theories.

TRUE LOVE

Just flew back from South Carolina last night so I have yet to watch this week's episode but I will have the recap up and ready by tomorrow I promise. In the meantime check out who I ran into in the elevator at the hotel we were staying at this weekend. I first recognized Michael Emerson a.k.a Ben Linus from LOST. As we were waiting for the elevator doors to close I turned to him and said "I don't mean to bother you, but I'm a huge fan." I extended my hand and he shook it with a smile and a thank you. I told him I thought LOST was one of the greatest shows in television history and that he portrayed one of the most diabolical characters ever. Just as he was thanking me for my kind words, a spunky red head to his right who had been hidden from my view, leans forward and asks "do you ever watch True Blood?" I myself leaned forward to see none other than Carrie Preston. I responded to her "Do I watch True Blood? You bet I do Arlene, in fact I write a blog about your show every week!" She could not believe it. She shook my hand and introduced herself. She asked about the name of the blog, how many readers it had and where she could check it out. As we all got off on the same floor I said "look I don't mean to be a bother but would you mind very much if I got a picture with you for the blog?" She said of course. Michael Emerson, who I did not realize is her husband of 12 years stepped aside as she put her arm around me and posed for a few shots. Then Michael posed with me for one as well but first took off his sunglasses and put on his reading glasses for the shot which I thought was a first class move. They could not have been more amazing. Carrie I had not realized appeared as Ben Linus's mother in a flash back scene from LOST and they are hoping to have Michael do a guest appearance on True Blood at some point. They were in Charleston, SC for a reading of a new play they are both in. They looked like a great couple together. Yesterday morning as we were checking out I saw Michael coming in from walking their dog. I fought back the urge to stop him once more and ask if I could hear him say "Jacob is not the kind of man you go and see. Jacob is the kind of man WHO SUMMONS YOU!"

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS?!?!

Russel invokes John McEnroe to open the week up when Bill attacks him.
"Are you serious? I am almost three thousand years old."
Even Eric was impressed with how easily Russel dispensed of Bill in the opening scene. Russel basically told Bill, "your Karate's a joke Larusso!"

Eric jumps on the Russel train for now, probably realizing his bid for "Vengeance" is not going to be as easy as he thought. He proves useful to Russel as he has no problem putting Sookie in her place..."It thinks we are equals."
Did you notice how Russel sniffs Sookie like some animal would? Maybe she smells like humans used to. Like a fine wine, as opposed to the Franzia Box-o-Wine's of today.

Talbot cracks me up with how domestic he is and when he screams about the house getting trashed. "Do you care nothing about opur home??? You never take me anywhere instead you prefer the company of sycophants!!!"

Sookie threatens Lorena and she revels in the opportunity to rip Sookie open and wear her rib cage as a hat now that Godric is not around to save her. "In the spring, we'd make meat helmets..."

Eric did not take kindly to her insulting his maker but he is staying focused on his ultimate goal. Loved when he tells Sookie to shut up. She was pretty unbearable this week I felt, but a necessary evil nevertheless. She did look pretty amazing I have to admit during her game of "quid pro quo Clarice" with Russel.

"A husband's work is never done..." Russel returns to question Sooki in the library whilst buckling his belt after repairing the state of affairs of his marriage to Talbot. The question session was great. "That's two questions...MY TURN!" Sookie was visibly upset to see the file Bill had been keeping on her and I forgot about the time she threw the chain and it wrapped around the guy's neck. It was back in the very first episode in season 1, when that guy and girl were trying to drain Bill in Merlotte's parking lot.
The dance going on between Russel and Eric is interesting. Eric clearly trying to win the affection of Russel to gain his trust and get him in a vulnerable position. In the meantime Russel opens up about his arrangement with the wolves and how he agreed with Hitler that there is a master race, it's just not human.

Sophie Anne playing the Deuces Wild scratch and wins was classic. Someone commented awhile back that she should just rob a bank, but it sounds like the vampires are not as free as we thought. They are monitored by their own governing body as well as human government agencies like the IRS. Apparently the Right Wing is fearful of Vampires running Wall St. My mind went nuts with this one.
Eric puts "The Queen" in her place reminding her that he is the older and stronger vampire and has submitted to her only out of respect up till now. He tells her he will rip her head off and throw it in the pool and to go fuk herself. I don't think she got all those pearl necklaces from fukking "herself" over the years though do you?
Lafayette asks Jesus, "Does the term Satan in a Sunday hat mean anything to you?" Turns out Laffa is the evil one in Jesus's mind when he finds out about the drug dealing life of his new man. It was a shame the night had to end like that. They had so much fun playing pool. Then Jesus tell Laffa about feeding shots of tequilla to "Jobu." They beat the crap out of Crystal's fiance' didn't they? Love when Lafayette gets fired up like that..."Go tell your momma two f-ggots whooped ur ass bitch!!!" Jesus though not so impressed.
Tara picks up where her cousin left off when she absolutely owns Franklin. I had a couple questions though about these scenes. Why is is when Franklin runs to jump on the bed to show Tara that he has shaved does he not use his vampire speed like all the others do. Instead he sort of awkwardly hops onto the mattress after telling her "I won't be policed Tara." Then we don't really see Tara feel the affects of the V. Am I wrong in remembering that Jason would be tripping for hours on end when he took it? And lastly do we really think Franklin is dead?

Jason gets all pissed off about Crystal pretending to not know him. I would be upset too if I dusted off my varsity letterman jacket and bought some flowers. I thought she never cries, but didn't we see her shed a tear back in the woods earlier? Jason rejected and ego bruised has had enough so he decides to take care of his case of "Kitch-lash" when he sees the new "QB One" running a "naked boot" in the back seat of his car.

Jessica's lessons with Pam paid off as she now knows when to say when and is able to feed without killing the annoying patron. Really can't get enough of her these days. She is just so amazing.

Tommy and his mom would have been first round draft picks for Michael Vick it looks like as we learn they shift and fight for Joe Lee in the dog fighting circuit out of Union Parish. Would have loved to try one of those corn fritters cooked in bacon grease.

So I have referred to him as Swayze Wolf before when he was at the bar doing shots with Sookie, but it turns out that Gus, who Sookie and Tara beat up is actually none other than Don Swayze the younger brother of Patrick. Patrick would have been ashamed of the fight his bro put up. Dalton from "Road House" would never have gone out like that.
There was a lot of talk this week about age and seniority. I have read on some other True Blood chats that the older a vampire the longer their fangs should be, but after doing a comparison I don't know if that is necessarily the case. If I'm wrong, does "Fang Envy" exist amongst vampires. Like do young male vampires go brush their teeth in the bathroom stall at sleep away camp? Can female vampires get fang implants? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Lastly Bill and Lorena take us back in time with the Billie Holiday music, the old classical language and the midievil torture tools. I think those tools she was using were the same ones they used on William Wallace at the end of Braveheart. Lorena never looked better though and I loved the dialogue between her and Bill. You really got a sense for how much history they shared. We finish the week out with Lorena feeding on Sookie and us the fans thirsting for more.
Here is a LINK to see some scenes from the second half of the season if you'd like. It's ramping up nicely.

HELL HATH NO FURY....

The recap will be up tomorrow so save comments till then, but in the meantime I wanted to point out fellow blogger Jessica's site. She had a big episode last night as I will discuss tomorrow but check out her video posts till then. JESSICA'S BLOG
Great pic of Hoyt's new love interest.

"I found this photo on the Renard Parish Church Retreats and Spiritual Workshop Group photo page. Doodles by yours truly, Jessica Hamby :)"