Deborah Ann "Wud!"

Smells Like Butterscotch Yo!

Well we all got our wish, Tommy is gone, but he didn't go quietly. His whole death scene was drawn out way too long. I was channeling Robbie Hart by the end.

Here's a question for you all. Whose truck had more blood on it at the end of the night, Alcide's or Jason's?

Jason had a pretty stellar episode I thought. From complaining about Hoyt drinking eleven of his beers and farting to volunteering to go confront Martonia.
My favorite moment was very subtle but if you looked close when Hoyt was talking about how he couldn't wash off the smell of Jessica from his pillows Jason made like he was biting his finger nails but in fact was smelling his fingers. Epic!

Speaking of funny smells, Alcide is gonna be none too happy when he comes home to smell another wolf all over his girl Debbie. Loved the way Marcus said "different philosophies."

Terry and Andy worked out their differences at Fort Bellfleur. I know some of you probably hated on this whole sequence, but there were some amazing lines dropped by our crazy veteran and Andy.
Terry: you checked up on me, kept the family off my back, even when I thought you were an Iraqi insurgent.
Terry: You were too old for booties!
Andy: I wasn't too old for socks! She could have knitted me socks or a sweater or something!

Terry: Words don't put food on the table.

Terry: Plenty of men come back from war and don't live in a tree house.

Andy was great when he got confronted for having V in the house around the kids.
"There's a safety cap...I think."

I think Jesus and Lafa have shared their last kiss. Try to control yourself Mute. It looked like Jessica may end up needing some pico de gallo as she feeds on demon boy next week. The best dressed award has got to go to Lafa by the way for the slipper sock combo he sported, I totally back the calf highs. How about Antonia calling him a "moore" when she was talking to Jesus. She must have mistaken him for Morgan Freeman in Robin Hood. Lafa gonna start swinging a big sword and and calling Jason "Christian?"

I liked seeing more interaction between Sookie and Jason. Their story lines have not crossed paths enough if you ask me. She brings out the best in her brother.

It was good to sort of get the old Eric back. I wasn't too sure it was really him, but when he dismissed the possibility of human casualties at the Moon Emporium by saying "they backed the wrong horse," I once again saw our beloved Viking.

I'm not a big fan of innocent human casualties. The shot of the little girl crying over the dead body of her mom and the Tolerance festival was too much for me. Couldn't Nan, Bill, and the others just give them blood to heal them all? What was Nan talking about being a certified first responder? Like the waitress B told Tara, there ain't no spell that can't be undone if you got the juice. Well Nan like Rakim once said, its time to "sip the juice" because you got enough to go around. I mean there are those who fuck up and bring a knife to a gun fight, a pen to a test, but give Nan an old Ticonderoga #2 pencil and she will stake a vampire like no other. When she told Bill "spin always matters" was she talking about publicity or the moves her lady friends use on her down below. Spin combined with rapid flicking usually does the trick, so I'm told.

All in all I thought it was a decent episode and built up some nice anticipation for this week. I cannot wait to see this shit go down.

P.S. couldn't Sookie just zap our girl Pamcakes and make her right again?

Some quotes I liked not mentioned above:

Eric: Here comes death.
Bill: Not for me.

Jessica: Talk about a bromance.

Jessica: Fucking humans! I'm gonna go find someone to eat!

Roy: It was a blood bath and we sorta won!

Tommy: There ain't no Heaven and Hell's a dogfight.

Andy: I'm a better man on V.

Jessica: I don't care what happens so long as I get to kill shit!

Marnie: We got our very own vampires!

DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS

Sorry for the delay in posting, my flight back from the Festival of Tolerance got all screwed up. Let's do this!
Eric and Bill sword fighting with Sookie was a hell of a way to bounce back from that brutal shower scene. Well done Mr. Ball. What a great dream sequence that was, from Sookie wearing the blood red unspeakables to Eric and Bill looking into each other's eyes as Sookie hovered above them. It reminded me of I was so sucked in and wowed by Sookie's dream control that when it was over I realized I had thought it might have actually been real. Then my inner Debbie Gibson kicked in and reminded me, No, only in her dreams, as real as it may seem, it was only in Sookie's dream.
This Antonia is on quite the ego trip. She bout popped her lid when someone called her Marnie. Guess it was OK though for her to forget Eric's name.
Antonia: Tell them Blonde One.
Eric: I am yours.
Just when I start to think she isn't all that Blair Witch, she goes and does something like make the doors lock behind her after she basically told her "followers," Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt.

If Alcide had listened to his pack master and Debbie Dope Fiend, he would have spared himself yet another dose of Sookie heart break. She doesn't dig your kind Alcide, you gotta get over it. Maybe she did at some point but right now she doesn't have any werewolves on her starting lineup. Sookie may end up indulging his fantasy's at some point, but their twist will be like the Wildcat Offense in the NFL. While its nice to switch things up, it is in no way a game changer and Sookie will go back to her bread and butter like Offensive Coordinators have time and time again. If I was Alcide I'd be more worried about what's going on at home. You're GF is studying up on how to bang Marcus behind your back. Did you notice she was watching Cheaters.com on TV when Alcide came home from the cemetery fight? Debbie is putting her time in watching film of people cheating on exes and banging hoes, X's and O's if you will. I knew Debbie was dumb but even junkies aren't that stupid that they would just take down a vile of V and not suck out the very last drop. At some point you can't get anymore peanut butter out with a knife, that's when you get in there with your fingers. There was def some V left in that vial. Such waste.
Loved her Thriller eyes as Alcide got into bed next to her. I often imagined that's what my own peepers looked like after i would come home from a big night out and just stare at the ceiling for hours on end.

Tommy meanwhile threw himself right into the coverage and took a beating for it. What did he think he was going to accomplish there?

Sookie as discussed earlier was in Cover 2 defense, but not exactly playing prevent with Eric and Bill in her dream as she didn't seem opposed to letting someone get behind her... nah mean? Loved her feeble attempt to dissuade Eric's advance by pointing out it was daytime. I was waiting for him to fire back "it's called a Nooner Sookie, get used to it."
Jason was finally back where he belonged as VB1 with his hands under center taking the snaps. We've never argued about his intelligence, but there is no doubt Jason's heart is bigger than his brain. The simple act of crossing out the "Monster Box" showed his sensitivity and thoughtfulness with regard to Jessica.
How about that symbolism by the way? Hoyt packs up Jessica's things and gives them to Jason, he handed over her box to him. He was ALL ABOUT the Monster BOX in the back of his pick up boy. LOVED IT! Bout time!

I really hope this relationship has legs. Loved seeing the Twilight book in Jessica's stuff, but not sure I can get behind the Taylor Swift CD, although the lyrics to her song "Haunted" were perfect for the scene.

While one relationship was blossoming, another was emerging from the ashes of post fraternal skinwalker coitus confusion. "Don't you worry, I'm a multiple tent owner, I'm kind of a bid deal," has to be one of the better lines Sam has ever delivered. And what a move turning into the bunny was. Forget Cat Barbie not liking him, now that he can turn into a bunny, Sam could make Emma's Barbi fuck G.I. Joe while he made Ken watch for all she cares. Slippery slope you're on there though Sam. If she finds out that was you and not the Cadbury Bunny, she is going to have you changing into a puppy, a hamster, a goldfish, you name it. Dang imagine the tail you could pull in if your best friend could turn into a puppy? Also what if you wake up one morning and there's no milk for your coffee? Could you have your room mate shift into a cow and try to milk him? Is that weird? I know I'm a freak but I KNOW I wasn't the only one who giggled when Emma said she one day hoped she could turn into a bunny so she could pet herself whenever she wants. No? SCREW YOU FOR JUDGING ME!!!
I'm pretty sure she is going to be a shifter. Did you notice how she was wearing a My Little Pony tee shirt to go along with her mom's horse shirt? I feel like the shifting gene is passed on through the mother's side, like religion and baldness.

My favorite storyline of the week I am shocked to admit was the resolution of the "bay-bee" snatching with Lafayette. From Andy breaking down the door to Jason insulting Jesus it had it all. Nothing was better though than Jesus explaining to the baby mamma's ghost that she was in the body of a man. Her reaction to Jesus being gay followed by her crotch grabbing had me on the floor.

It was also a very emotional scene at the end where you had Arlene holding her baby, Lafa holding the dead baby's skeleton and then the spirit lady holding the ghost of her child as well.
But overall it was some pure comedy. Who knew Jesus had so much power.

Other quotes I loved:
Hoyt: Lafayette just walked into my place with Arlene's baby, a doll and a gun!

Terry: I knew that Fortenberry kid wasn't right! Had one just like him in my platoon.

Mavis: You sound like a white man you!
Andy: Open this door you racist shit bag or I will open it for you.

Andy: On behalf of Reynard Parish, the state of Louisiana and Jesus Christ his fucking self, ready or not here we come.

Bill: I am the King of Louisiana I do not share.

Jason: I got a theory. when you guys, uh, role play, does Lafayette ever turn into a woman named Mavis?
Jesus: I'm gonna forget you just said that and I'm gonna head in.

Jesus: Terry I'm a nurse, I'm not even going to pretend to understand what you just said.


Alcide and Marcus: To Shreveport and communicating shit!

Mavis: Mr. Lafayette thank you for everything.
Lafayette: You got it bitch.

Antonia follower: Fucking chill Roy!!!



This week looks to be a banger with only three episodes left we are in for a treat. Bill caps Eric, Antonia gets a surprise as Jesus finally becomes the witch we saw a flash of last season through Lafa's eyes. and Nan gets her hands dirty finally.



Thanks to Peachiex and Imhereforsookie for some of the awesome GIFs and images used this week.

TRU LOVE!!!

F.B.O.W.

This weeks F.B.O.W. is Sophia Myles a.k.a.Erika from the Underworld films. It's not easy to stand out and leave a lasting impression when you are cast across from a black leather and latex clad Kate Beckinsale, but Miss Myles has always held a little special place in my mortal heart.

Jitter-Blood

Flat Bed Bumbin, Mud Flap Humpin

Question: Any intel on where True Blood‘s Jason/Jessica/Hoyt triangle is headed? —Marina
Ausiello: It’s headed for a major turning point in this Sunday’s episode. Hint: It involves the back of a pickup truck.

Everybody Fang Chung Tonight!

That's a Lovely Accent You Have...New Jersey?

So weird to hear Jason go Crocodile Dundee...which makes me think he would be an amazing call for a remake reckon?

JUST TONIGHT

KISS ME & I'LL KISS YOU BACK

It's going to take all my restraint not to turn this week's post into a Jessica/Jason love fest, but I'll try my best. Like Jason, I have to drop down and start banging out push ups whenever I think about it. While we are on the subject though, I went one for two on my predictions from last week. Jason did come to Jessica's rescue, but Tara didn't falter when she realized they were killing vampires but instead relished the fact. Kudos to those who heard the gun shot in the closing scene from last week.

Jessica being carried back down to her cell by Jason was all Urkel when she saw the guards dead body.

I liked how Jason and Bill mutually decided to look the other way with regard to the blood spilled at the mansion.

Poor Jessica, she took a beating this week. Hoyt can never take back what he said. That was the definition of cold blooded son, borderline "I feel sorry for your mother." I only have one thing to say to Hoyt...
Maybe that whack job Summer is still single.

How amazing was her hair in this scene? I guess it's her dream, it ought to be right? So how come I'm still fat in my dreams? I got no dream control yo!


While Hoyt seemed none to pleased by his new bachelor status, Sam happily played house with Luna and her daughter, even if cat barbie will never like him. Looks like Luna's baby daddy isn't that big of a fan either. I have to admit though that he is sort of growing on me. I like the cut of this Raoul of Shreveport's jib. I appreciated how he saw the alpha in Alcide and was man/wolf enough to admit it. Alcide is sort of a paranoid bitch (pun intended) if you ask me. "Yo I'm just saying," but Jessica came clean about her being in love with someone else, he should wolf sack up and tell Debbie the same. I also liked how Raoul was no dummy when it came to the Vamps. He showed why he is pack master when he noted "Those dead fuckers are hard core." No shit!




Tommy is definitely not hard core and still a dope, but I couldn't help but like him as Hoyt's mom, cursing Sam up and down to the gas prospector. That was a hell of an order he made too, I know he puked because of the skin walking, but those craw fish fritters and tequila shooters would have had me calling some dinosaurs either way. As he ran through the woods did he remind anyone else of the Jane's Addiction, Been Caught Stealing video?

During Jessica's dream which was AMAZE! Did anyone notice the "10th Century Viking Skull?" Was that a little Northman reference? Back to the dream, she had serious mind control did she not? How many of you jumped off your couch when she slammed Hoyt's head home. Guy totally deserved it.

Laffa finally got his dream, in a way, when he was possessed by the "Nigress" who has been popping up in his kitchen like some extra from the set of The Color Purple 2 being filmed on the lot next door.

The battle in the cemetery was pretty legit. Reminiscent of the assault on Hogwarts i felt like in the final Potter movie. All kinds of super naturals battling it out. Speaking of Harry Potter, how bout Martonia trying to cast a "nonverbal" spell on Bill, before Sookie put a stop top it. Well Sookie called her on it then Eric's inner Viking woke up finally. THAT WAS AWESOME!

But what is going to happen to him and Sookie? I can't ramble anymore. You guys step it up here. Especially those who were absent last week, you know who you are. I can't bring myself to talk about the shower scene or the ridiculously high number of scenes featuring Eric's vertical smile. All is not possible kids, because nothing could have made me enjoy those scenes. I have finally joined the rest of you who are tired of Sensitive Eric. I want the long haired mad man back.

Jason: I'm Sorry I stopped listening half way through.

Terry: Do you not see this mirror I put above the stove so I can watch him?

Tommy (as Ms. Fortenberry): Ain't there anything I can do to sweeten the deal?
Gas Prospector: Uh...no.

Raoul: I got a feeling he plays Barbi's all by himself...You just pissed on the wrong boots.


Lastly:

Loved the way Bill just threw that crazy ass Witch off of him. He was like "how you talkin? pshh whateva!"