Monday, June 27, 2011

Since You've Been Gone


Hats off to HBO for one hell of a lead in to the season premier of Tru Blood. After the sneak peak at the new seasons of How to Make It In America and Boardwalk Empire I was ready to jump through walls, and my excitement continued as we were treated to the first episode of our beloved TB.

Sookie was gone for more than a year and in that time Nurse Jesus shaved his goatee, Jason grew one, and Lafayette sported a Mr. T soul-glo Mohawk.

My spidey sense was tingling when Sookie knew the first two people she ran into in Fairy Land. They way the people were going after that glowing fruit had me thinking back to Maryann. Then her grandpa just show up like Jack's dad in LOST. Something didn't seem right and sure enough Sookie soon saw some goblin creeping around the fairy party like E. Gangi at the Water Club.(inside joke btw for those who do not work with me) Then all hell broke loose as Mab tried to close the portal to the human world. Maybe L-Raines can shed some light on the whole glowing fruit crew.

Time has always been and interesting part of this show as some episodes only span a few hours, but did anyone else think Jason got to the house a little too fast after the painter called the cops on Sookie? That was a little flub on the directors part I felt.

Jason looked good in uniform and apparently had been studying up on police procedures as we saw when he pulled Andy off Lafayette for not having probable cause to harass him. I wrote down "Andy on V?" after he screamed "you owe me a plaque" to Sookie and sure enough we saw he had been dipping into the evidence room's contents. We of course saw this coming last year when he held the vile of blood up while still sporting the cast.

Even if Lafayette is still dealing V he had a lot more to worry about now than Vampires thanks to his boy Jesus. Marnie the head witch played Pet Cemetery with her bird Minerva, but we learned that the whole coven was being spied on by Bill's minion who looked great in those glasses. I thought it was the Queen in disguise but I was mistaken and corrected by LaffaBrown. It's been hinted at that the witches can control the dead which means they could control vampires, which is why Bill must be so intrigued in keeping tabs on the coven's developments.
Side note: I couldn't help but think of Pavarotti from GLEE and poor headless Petey from Dumb and Dumber when I saw that little Minerva layed out on the altar. "Pretty bird, yes, pretty bird."
Tara bounced back to start the season as we saw her arm-barring some chick in a back room ultimate fighting match and then learned that her opponent was actually her lover. After the who ordeal with Franklin I can't blame her for trying to play for the other team for awhile. Was it just me or were Tara/Tony's eyes all blacked out like they used to get during her days with Maryann? Maybe that side of her is still in there somewhere lurking and can be unleashed like Wolverine's berserker rage.
Speaking of rage it turned out Sam did not kill Tommy, but did shoot him in the leg. Tommy seemed all born again and still using his older brother to pay for physical therapy while kissing up to Hoyt's crazy mom. I think she enlisted Tommy's help to break up "Hessica." We know he has always had a thing for the red head.
While Tommy is limping around, Sam and his support group ran wild. Sam has taken his shifting powers to new heights changing into a horse and later this season an owl it looked like from the previews. Not a bad party to be at. A little red grape then strip down with two hot B's and literally be hung like a horse.



Let's see what else? Arlene's kid Mikey was a bit disturbing. I'm not gonna lie, I played with by friend's sister's Barbi dolls when I was kid but the worst we did was take their clothes off. This whole decapitation thing took matters to a new level and would have me worried as well. Poor kid's gonna have a tough time finding a play group when his head starts spinning around and he's spitting paste at kids while cursing at them in tongues.

Sookie is now Eric's but Jessica is nobodies B apparently. I expect a big season from her, especially if Pam continues to counsel her.

So Bill is King now, so he defeated the Queen. Eric owns Sookie's house which somehow makes her his? Someone explain that to me. The panthers locked Jason in the ice box. We saw in previews he is fed on at some point by two big cats. Maybe they are trying to convert him? Can that happen? Did anyone else notice the two times when a TV was on there was a scene where two grizzly bears were fighting. Was that coincidence or just the show's techs using the same footage to set the timing?

They threw a lot at us to open the season. Can't wait to hear your thoughts. In the meantime, below are a few of my favorite quotes from the 1st episode.
Lafayette: I'll stay five minutes, ten if they got dranks

Lafayette: Smells like where old air fresheners go to die.


Bill: Who would you rather trust, a vampire or a politician?

Naomi: I don't take requests but I can crush your spine so bad you could suck your own dick.

Pam: The way you're eye fucking fang bangers from across the room is especially romantic.

Eric: Such a strange sensation when the reality matches what you pictured in your mind so precisely.

9 comments:

  1. IT FEEEEEL SO GOOOOOOOD TO BE BACK!!

    w/ that being said, i must admit that from the second that i saw that the six minute preview a couple weeks back, i knew that the episode itself was gonna be very weak but i LOVE where it looks like some of the stories are going.

    Wouldnt be right if i didnt start by saying taht right off the bat, Jell-d, u did an incredible job with the post (PRETTY BIRD, PRETTY BIRD!!) have a feeling its gonna be a ganarly year!

    Now lets get down to bidness; Gangi's ep was at Le escale btw, not the water club-js. May his career rest in peace. LOVE LOVE LOVE my man laffa's new fro-hawk, my guy continues to rep it, but would expect no less, really curious to see where this season takes us with him and his powers, seems like there is gonan be ALOT of delevlopment there and its about time my man had some skizums. BTW--how freaky was it when milton from the office contacted him through Marnie?!...i know that alan ball said it, but i have a feeling this B is gonna bring the LUMBER to the entire community over teh next year, she really freaks me out (not sure if it's because she is the only I WOULDNT on the show or what but i'm freaked out none the less)

    I'm pretty sure it goes without saying but there was DEF a "speaking of no one's looking" moment for me when "TONI" not only shred that b in the octogon but then shred her back in her bedroom after! EEEE! MORE PLEASE! The other moment where my pants got shorter was was at sams little "anger managment" drink session where he LITERALLY turned into a stallion and went running through teh woods with those two b's (and obviously a black dude for obvious reasons u can come to yourself)...gonna be some lucky mares this year! (credit TJ)

    I'm REALLY pumped to see where this season takes jessica, ive been waiting for her to come out of her shell, and under the tutiledige (sp) of PAM i think sht could get REALLY weird, i LOVE that. I personally think that Hoyt is a gonner one way or another but we'll see.

    the biggest question is obv how did bill somehow defeat the queen?...was he lying about his age? i dont get it. But that IS NOT the queen who came and spoke to him i his castle, that is some other new hot witch b, trust me, i know evan racheal wood when i see her, that aint no ERW..belee dat. Bill and Eric are completely switching roles this year and i think that is gonna go as far as the role they play in sookies life/bed but either way i cant wait to see....ALL IN ALL LOOK FORWARD TO A GNAR SEASON AND POSTS!!...

    PS WHERE IS THE FANGBANGER OF THE WEEK!?!

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  2. Ok, so this is a great recap. Officer Andy is going to be a problem. Jessica too, but in a good way... At least she's not annoying. The writers have made Andy a charactature of himself and it's got to get a little more interesting and a little less painful to watch over time, right? It's pretty bad when the idiot cop is in charge, even if the town he's in charge of is cooky Von Temps.

    Eric owns Sookie beecause the only single power that a human has over a vampire is the ability to not let the vamp into your house witout permission. (Love how vampires actually have to get consent, the irony is amazing.) Anyhoo, if Eric owns the house, it's no longer Sookie's, and that one iota of power she has over him is gone. Although, since she is part fairy she does have some powers over vamps, as we've seen. (Side questions: Where do those powers end? Her blood fuels their fire, but what else is she capable of? and why would the evil faries in the beginning of the episode (they looked straight out of a tolken hobbit film) be after her if she was one of them? did the fairies want to harvest her too? a little confusing, at least to me, i probably should have watched more reruns of last season ahead of time.) Anyway, Sookie obviously has special powers, but for right now, while at home and as far as Eric is concerned she is powerless. Technically she's not yet "his" until she gives the goahead - again, consent, so ironic - and perhaps gives more blood? lets Eric feed again? I'm not 100% sure, but I'm confident it also includes a steamy raw gratuitous sex scene - this is HBO afterall - but i forget the specifics of what is involved in the "You are MHINE" making rule. But if it were me, i'd totally let Eric make me his. Kills me to say it (no pun intended), because I hope he's the hero of this series in the end (and i hope the end is not until at least 2013 or 2014) but truth be told, Bill seems pre-occupied and maybe a little untrustworthy at the moment. I'd rather get the protection from Eric than no protection at all and be subject to ever other vampires out there who think I smell and taste better than freshly baked banana bread. Perfect example for the old adage "if you can't beat em, join em... " if you ask me.

    This new side of Tara is cool and yes, not surprising given all she went through the last two seaons. I'm almost more interested though to see how they bring her lover into the mix of fairy/vampire/witch/wicken/shifter/werewolf land. I just hope she's not the next Eggs. As much as Tara deserves a break for pete's sake, can't help but think it's just a matter of time...

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  3. PS - 100% agree on psycho devil baby. We all know who the father really is. Question is, what will sweet loving uneducated Arlene do about it? You know she's torn and horrified inside and is just waiting for D-day to come. Poor thing, what a dilemma. Takes the whole "new mother worry" thing to a completely different level. (Good job HBO - with 8 weeks to go for my own kid's arrival, i appreciated the humorous undertones in that. I will also appreciate extra especially how ever my baby arrives and whoever he/she is, since i already know that it won't be the spawn of satan. really puts things into perspective.... ) But how far will the evil go? Will the kid make it to McCauly Culkin's age in the Good Son or will someone/something whip the little guy into shape? Maybe the covet can cure him of his evils before he starts taking/dealing V or worse, causing the end of the world as we know it... Or it could be a foray into brining an exorcist into the cast of characters. That's one genre of interesting folks we haven't run across yet. Or have we?

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  4. Amazing job as usual with the recap Jell. It's been a long cold winter without Sookie, Jessica, or Pam to keep me warm on Sunday nights.
    That being said, I have to agree with Laffa here and say this episode was medioc's at best. I understand they have to lay some ground work and catch us up on the 12 missing months, which also gives them so good flash backs for Bill and his new role in Louisiana. The first 5 mins of the show in fairyland was the low point of the show with all those little goblins shooting roman candles at each other. just annoying.
    Btw, that little gremlin above kind of looks like E Gang. classic.
    Now, lets talk about Lafa's new venture into witchcraft. Just throwing it out there, but I think Marnie, head witch, needs Lafa in her little circle of trust to have any powers. Now you might argue that she was able to harness her powers because he closed the circle when he joined hands with everyone, but I think it was his powers that she was harnessing. I guess we'll have to watch and see.
    Jessica is going to be the star this season. She's got the looks, the attitude and she's ready to get her freak on. I think she keeps Hoyt around to have a somewhat stable home life and she'll party at night.
    Now, lets talk about Eric and Bill. I knew something was up when Eric left Sookie's house. Bill seemed to have too much power over him. Man, you aint never met no King.
    I am really interested to see how Bill defeated the Queen and how he got wealthy in a year. Remember, the queen was broke and selling V thru Eric.
    Overall an OK episode, but they set up some nice story lines for the season. Wish I could get HBO GO and watch next weeks episode now.

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  5. MGC---lets talk about this whole "i own ur house so i own you thing"....i actuually though that whole logic was the silliest part of teh whole ep. It's not like you need to actually be a home OWNER to keep a vampire out of your house, as i would imagine that most of the people of bon temps dont own there homes...with that in mind when eric was like "i own your house there for i won you" sookie should have been like "ok then, i'll just go rent another house and keep your azz out (if that is even what she wants to do)....i mean if you think about it, if owing there homes was all teh vamps had to do, they would just buy up all the land in any given area and run buckwild no? js. =)


    I was also VERY interested in teh whole "harvesting"of humans...a la the matrix, i mean, are they loooking for them as a source of life/energy/spirit? will be interesting to see.

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  6. So glad this blog is back! Ok so first things first, as our resident book reader the whole fairy ish doesn't happen until wayyy later and they are supposed to be unbelievably beautiful, not extras from the lord of the rings. So no insight on that. I think the show is introducing a lot of different elements which can get overwhelming but I have faith in Alan Ball.

    Time jump was a great idea and hopefully well see some flashbacks to fill in the blanks. Someone needs to slap Andy the way Maryann slapped Tara. Not surprised Tara is into to beav now. And that she's a female rocky.

    I need to know what happened to our beloved ERW but Jess is def taking over in the balled redhead category. Pam is amazing per usual and she's right about Jess being a hunter. It's primal. Doesn't mean she doesn't love Hoyt. Hoyts mama creeps me the eff out doting on the new white bread Tommy. She really gives off a pedophile vibe and I wouldn't mind tossing her and Andy to the wolves.

    Laffa is incred as usual. Eric and Sookie GAME ON. I'm just worried about living in a world where jstackhouse is considered responsible.

    Will write more later but am on my friends iPad at the beach and it keeps autocorrecting me! Hate typing on this.and yes Troy, MBN.

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  7. 100% Agreed LAFFA - you are right, if Sookie was smart, she'd just move to a new crashpad. Problem solved. But she's not moving. Maybe Eric doesn't bother her enough to do so? Or she thinks she can find a way around it? Also, i think the whole ownership spin is just an attempt for the writers to weave in the local color of the US economy today - jason mentioned a "cash offer" at "above asking", etc... all things you aren't readily finding nowadays in the depressed bayou area post katrina, housing market slump, unemployment rates, etc. Most people in that part of the country are likely short selling or are in default alltogether. Eric making that purchase was a strategic move, no doubt, but also a sign of the times kind of opportunity. Sook is a stubborn gal who doesn't want to be pushed around, or pushed out of her house... simple as that may be to solve the problem. she mentioned all of the "wonderful memories of Gram, family" etc she has there so that's part of the attraction of staying I guess. I agree though, I'm like, woah Sook, what about you and your loved ones also getting beaten up within an inch of their lives like 5 gajillion times and/or getting out and out murdered in that house? remember what maryann alone did to the place? Sheesh. I'd be moved out and subleasing in a condo (or trailer, yes, more appropriate for Bon Temps) faster than you can say fried alligator fricasee if it were me... unless maybe i didn't mind Eric stealing my robe and catching me neked once in a while. Again, more Eric/Sookie sex scene opportunities for HBO. They know we want it and they are dangling the carrot before our very eyes with this whole setup.

    Agreed on Hoyt's mom and creepy Tommy. Where are they going with that?

    ***i HBOgo'd the next episode. it was well worth the nearly hour on the phone w painful comcast rep and subsequent after midnight bedtime on a school night to do so.

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  8. @MGC Watched the second episode on demand last night, cannot wait to discuss.
    O'Hara get on it!!!

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  9. i m going to freak out ... OK sorry for delay but I posted and then it got deleted and I dont know why either way I am very angry.. Had major stream of consciousness all gone.. hopefully I can recap.. Startign this year off I have many questions..1. Godric my man good to see you back, but why did you tell Eric he was damned ? I mean isnt he already??? Did Godric see something when he was terminated that confirmed he was right ?? That he was wrong?? Is Eric hallucinating and dreaming it?? The fairy thing annoyed me as well but more along the lines of I couldnt take Lumberg seriously I was waiting for him to drop the "Hey Sookie what's happening? How are those TPS reports coming??" or at least a gratuitous Chuck Norris dodgeball comment/... I mean they owed us that.
    Lafayette I dig the mohawk and the witch scene was banged up but I dig banged up ..Speaking of which if you don't think we are seeing a witch gang bang you have another thought coming. And along those lines if you dont think the blonde waitress witch doesnt whip out a stick you are kidding yourself. I think I noticed an adam's apple there.
    Jessica, who will now be referred to as "The Flaming Pepperbush" TFP for short is all revved up and ready to go..She is oozing horny and angry and that is very respectable.. Poor Hoyt doesnt stand a chance, but who can blame her ? Would you be attracted to a dude that looks like the Bug Guy from Men in Black ?? I didnt think so ... She needs hot and strange, kind of like a normal 25 year old single man not named Fausto, and hot and strange needs to be satisified. I mean I almost felt bad for the guy she EYEFUCKED I mean he just wanted to be held and all she wanted to do was use his piece as a sit n spin joystick.. I mean he has feelings too.. Poor Hoyt is as good as gone and he deserves it after his egg eating display.
    Bill is annoying me his whole I m rich and nice to humans act so I can win Sookie's love or trust is tired... "Hey I m the oldest guy here ..ha ha" I was waiting for Ed McMahon to pop out with some uncomfortable laugh ..For Christ sakes people ..Bill you are the king start doing King shit. ANd him trying to own Eric borderline pathetic I laughed at that..Eric will not stand for it so why should I ... Bill has won for now but chalk me up for him being the Biggest Loser in the end..
    Tara I dig the change over and the encounter with the caged octagon girl.. Was the creepy guy drinking the Hurricane offering money to watch some fricker to fricker action weird? Yes. Would I have said and done the same ? Hell yeah !! Except I may have thrown in something like "Do you want to shine my head in between your bellybuttons while I watch" or " If you guys need any meat in your sandwich let me know" .. Something along those lines...
    Anywho many questions, fewer answers, lots of pitched tents and mucho anticipation...I may have had more but this effin thing erased my schit so I m not very happy..

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